Bra Shopping
I’ve been avoiding it. For a shockingly long amount of time. I can’t tell you how long because you’ll think I’m gross. If you already think I’m gross, then write me an email with the subject “HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN SINCE YOU’VE BOUGHT A NEW BRA??” and I’ll be honest.
The first time I went bra shopping, I was offended. I was also at a point in my life when everything in the world offended me. I couldn’t believe how hard it was to find a bra without padding and underwire and satin and lace and a device that you attach to it that inflates it with helium every morning. Ok, maybe not that last one, but you know what I mean. I thought my breasts were pretty great. Mostly because they existed. I hadn’t had any, and then I did, and it was exciting.
Around that time, I was hanging out with a kid my age and he said, sort of innocently, “So your breasts are pretty small, right?” (He looked like he wasn’t sure what breasts were supposed to look like and wanted to collect some information.) I answered indignantly, “Of course not! My breasts are really big!” Well, they seemed big to me. As it turned out, the guy was right.
But for a long time, I refused to wear a padded bra. Or a push up bra. Or anything involving helium. I just went around having small breasts and being my sexy self. Not a bad life, really.
Something changed along the way, of course. It always seems to. Now all the bras I own have padding. I still don’t put any effort into them. I have maybe once in my entire life coordinated a bra with a pair of underwear. But I’d feel self-conscious without the padding. Exposed, maybe.
Some bras will go all the way...
I went to Victoria’s Secret today. Her secret seems to be that the bras there are not much different from the bras other places. No one ever guesses it, though, so they pay a lot of money to stand in the pink glow of her sleek stores. Including me. What an amazing industry!
I stood there, in the pink glow, staring at myself in an absurd bra with lace and a little pink bow between my breasts and delicate patterns in gold embroidery, and I looked completely ridiculous. I don’t look like a lingerie model. I don’t even look like someone who might have a distant cousin who is a lingerie model. But in that moment, it seemed stupid that I should have to look like one. I took the bra off and picked a plain black one. No decorations, not much effort at sex appeal. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t have some padding. But hey, you have to start somewhere.
Then I went down the street and bought a sports bra too, which looked good, I thought, because it made me look strong. Actually, last night I went to the gym with my fiancé (a new experience for me, wish me luck!), and he said he loved how strong I looked when I was running. Everything about me looked strong. What an awesome compliment.
Maybe my bras should start appreciating the way I actually look. Maybe I should. Maybe I should sit my bras down and have a little chat with them about priorities. We could all benefit from that, I think.
Everyone: How does bra shopping make you feel?
P.S. Stay tuned for Maggie’s upcoming post. She’s been working like crazy and I miss her. I have a lot of questions for her and you might want to read the answers 
Kate on April 1st 2010 in body
Cindy responded on 01 Apr 2010 at 4:18 pm #
oh boy.
I
hate
bra
shopping
period.
I only buy them because at some point in my life, they poof away into dust and I am left with no choice but to replace them and only 2 at a time. because, I hate buying bras.
and i hate paying for them even moe.
I have bra issues.
I had boob issues most of my life.
as a kid I got teased relentlessly (brothers) about my “mosquito bites” then when I turned 16 the boob fairy gave me a set and then i had attention I didn’t know how to deal with.
so I did every possible thing I could do to hide them.
I sort of got over it, but not really. I would rather look strong and fit than sexy ANY day of the week (but my husband has other feelings on the subject)
after my boobs shrank back to normal *after having my baby in 08) I learned to appreciate their (normal size) because I got really big for that year and a half.
I have a couple of meltdowns in a bra (including Victoria’s secret) changing room over finding a bra that made me feel happy. they never do. But I can grab a 12 dollar sports bra (in a 2 pack) and be happy as pie!
Can’t wait for maggie’s post!
Happy Thursday!
janetha responded on 01 Apr 2010 at 10:33 pm #
great post! i loved the scene you painted in VS. how much can we all relate to that?! i buy sports bras all the time… but other bras? i have one that i buy, and i just get it in lots of different colors. and yep, it is from VS…
great compliment from the fiance!
Anne responded on 02 Apr 2010 at 1:48 am #
Hi Kate!! Fun website! Well, I am your future cousin in law, Anne. And, I am in the lingerie business – and work with the Plus Size customers!!! Funny to come in at this point!
Can’t wait to meet you!!!!
Anne.
clare responded on 02 Apr 2010 at 3:08 am #
bra shopping…N/A.
last time i looked for a bra at victorias secret, i was also offended. taking a look at my chest and my outfit, the clerk proceeded to lead me to a wall of frilly and extremely padded sports bras. “we all want to try to look sexy in the gym, right?” she chirped.
i guess im not sexy enough without padding, and even then, id still be only “trying.” lol.
Kate responded on 02 Apr 2010 at 3:18 am #
@Anne Hey!! Thanks for reading! I can’t wait to meet you either! I’ve heard tons of great stuff about you and have seen the cutest photos ever of Harold.
@Cindy Happy Thursday back! And nice spacing at the beginning of that comment
Looks like spunky poetry. I always love your comments.
William Carlsen responded on 02 Apr 2010 at 12:29 am #
This post is beyond awesome. I am always wondering what to do and what not to do so I will follow some of these tips.
Mervin Leyendecker responded on 02 Apr 2010 at 2:13 am #
wooo this is awesome
What is a good first bra? | Gold Standard Reviews responded on 02 Apr 2010 at 6:22 am #
[...] Kate: Bra Shopping « Eat the Damn Cake [...]
Latest Padded Sports Bra Auctions | Gold Standard Reviews responded on 02 Apr 2010 at 6:26 am #
[...] Kate: Bra Shopping « Eat the Damn Cake [...]
Emily responded on 03 Apr 2010 at 8:57 pm #
oh man.. bra shopping sucks. I am coming from the opposite side of things though, which is just as frustrating, my boobs are too big. They literally do not carry bra’s that fit me in any store except for extremely specialized stores. This seems odd to me because my breasts are not freakishly large or anything, I just look like a girl with big boobs and I see others with similar body types. Regardless, it is impossible to find anything. Victoria’s secret does not carry my size, nor do department stores, nor do plus size stores (because I am not plus size and the band sizes are all too large.) For a culture that is all about big boobs, you’d think that they’d be able to outfit them with a bra that fits.
Ali responded on 03 Apr 2010 at 11:39 pm #
2 and 1/2 years ago, when I was 35, I developed a terrifying breast lump that after two weeks of major stress and anxiety I found out was benign. The whole experience really brought home for me all the issues I had with hating my breasts and bras. Research on breast health led me to the decision to just stop wearing bras at all other than when exercising. It was an awesome decision that I have never regretted.
Eat the Damn Cake » ballet and the strangeness of beauty responded on 18 Jun 2010 at 12:01 pm #
[...] (Which reminds me of my bra shopping post) [...]
Eat the Damn Cake » The Girl Without Any Breasts responded on 24 Jun 2010 at 11:35 am #
[...] would make it appear as though I had gone through puberty. It was not the first time we’d gone bra shopping [...]
Eat the Damn Cake » Detective Cake and the Case of the Maniacal Underpants responded on 08 Nov 2010 at 11:51 am #
[...] were like, “um….chill out and don’t wear a bra. It’s not against the law or anything.”). Remember the time before that? Victoria’s Secret. I thought I wouldn’t have to go for a while, after all that. But, and this [...]
Eat the Damn Cake » Waiting for the A cup revolution responded on 07 Feb 2011 at 12:23 pm #
[...] then, I’ve hesitated to buy another. But since I got my last practical bra at Victoria’s Secret, it is tattered and threadbare and managing to flip itself inside out while being worn, and just [...]
Sally Hemmings responded on 26 Feb 2011 at 1:40 pm #
I swear every lingerie store I’ve ever shopped in has tried their hardest to make me feel like I’m handicapped for being an A cup. I never feel uglier than when I walk into one of those stores and listen to those wiseasses kibbutz about how deficient I am and how sad it is, for me.
You know what makes me feel better? Internet porn. There is no shortage of internet porn that specializes in small breasted, flat chested, women. I love you boys! Because unlike those catty wenches that sell underwear, you love me back…..
Annebelle responded on 09 Aug 2011 at 2:03 am #
Well, I’ve found that VS bras come in handy when you’re more top heavy like I am (I’ve been a 36 DD since the 5th grade. Not fun.) because they first off, are the only place that carries my size (Wal-Mart, K-mart, Target, and other stores with cheap bras seem to hate me), and second can actually proportion the bras to where it doesn’t feel as though the straps are cutting into my shoulders. However, they seem to charge too much for their mastery of comfort (my last bra cost $55 without tax, which is like, the financial equal of a haircut from my favorite stylist, some ice cream, bad Japanese horror film, and a fairly decent paperback book.)
Caitlin responded on 31 Mar 2012 at 3:28 pm #
Emily, I know exactly what you mean! Mine all cost upwards of $100 D:
However.
I’ve never had an experience in which I felt ugly buying bras. Going to the specialty stores, I find the service and support from the sales ladies is always fabulous. I leave feeling as if I’m the most beautiful girl in the world. My first time shopping there was the best. I spent $500 which was awful, it was like two weeks of work gone in two hours, but w/e. What stuck with me was they gave me the younger sales lady, because I was 16 and they thought we might relate better. We did. She showed me all the ways a properly fitting bra should look and feel, how to position my boobs so they looked fullest if I wanted to look sexy, and what sorts of bras I should wear for comfort or every day wear. She even taught me how to make them look even, so no one could know which was the bigger boob. The whole time she told me I was beautiful, and how it would drastically change how I saw myself, having a bra that fit right. And with all that help and motivation, I did, for a while.
Hmm. Maybe I should go bra shopping again soon…