Comments on: Forbidden Love

By: Link Love | The Demoiselles

Link Love | The Demoiselles — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 18:44:48 +0000

[...] at Eat The Damn Cake, Kate points out how we’ve all learned (thoroughly) how to recognize the things we hate about our body… But what about the positive? But what about when you look down at your thighs and just like [...]

By: Calley

Calley — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 21:56:12 +0000

haha! great photo. you’re hilarious and this is one of my favorite posts ever. as in, ever, anywhere. it’s so true!!

i’ve actually done that with friends before. like sat there and gone back and forth with what we hate about ourselves. i don’t think we ever did it with things we like. maybe we should try!

By: Wei-Wei

Wei-Wei — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 06:03:37 +0000

I remember a moment when I was deep in my ED, so clearly. I was practicing dance moves in front of a camera, recording for a joint dance project in PE, and my face was out of the picture. I saw a flash of the video sometime later on someone else’s computer, and thought, “Wow, skinny girl.” Then I realised it was me, then thought, “Nah, it was just the angle.”

I think it’s the first, immediate reaction that we have to remember. Why are we brainwashing ourselves? I think there’s a side of ourselves that we show to the public, a side that we show to the public within ourselves (does that make sense?) and the side that rarely comes out, the side that we show just to ourselves. Stop the brainwashing! We’re all beautiful, and deep down… I think we do know it.

Wei-Wei

By: B

Wed, 02 Jun 2010 03:09:51 +0000

amazing post. i love your stuff. this is no different. this post was so inspiring and so true. time to admit to myself that i love some things i’m not supposed to about my body. like my frizzy hair. and my thick legs.

By: Beth

Beth — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 00:32:06 +0000

^^ Emily, I believe you have really hit on something there. I’d also like to add that by externalising our criticisms of our bodies out loud – to others – it’s like we’re getting there first. I don’t know when it began, but for me I’ve long held a belief that people are judging me. By saying out loud the things I see as imperfections, it’s as if I am admitting the faults before they can be brought up. Does that make sense at all?

By: Emily

Emily — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 00:19:05 +0000

I love this post. I feel like I am constantly trying to hide the fact that I like my body. I think this comes out most when I think about my stomach. It is not flat, it is quite round and most of my excess fat is stored there. Despite the fact that I often feel frustrated at the way it breaks up my silhouette, or makes it even more challenging to find well fitted clothing, when i look at my stomach I think it is totally sexy. Still, I don’t usually tell anyone this. I complain about it. When boys compliment my figure I say “yeah.. but my stomach is too fat.” I think we just want to be seen as modest but it feeds into the whole idea that we aren’t supposed to like our bodies. Saying good things about your body seems conceited. We really need to change that. It feels so much better to just feel good about yourself.

By: Gaby

Gaby — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 19:53:37 +0000

I loved this! Well, truthfully I love all your posts but never have time to comment. They always make me laugh but at the same time it’s always that “OMG so true!” feeling too.
It’s so much easier to name off all the minuscule things I hate about myself or that could be improved . If only [fill in the blank] my life would be so much better. And my mom is also always the one who jumps in and tells me I belong in an insane asylum if I’m not capable of appreciating my looks. Gotta love moms!
So going along with your mirror experience, and because we probably have some of the same distinct Eastern European looks, I have to say I’ve grown to appreciate how striking some of my facial features are. Even in the cheapest, foggiest mirrors in run down bathrooms, at a glance, you can still see defined and dark lines. It’s striking. Especially my eyes, which are the opposite of Barbie, ideal American eyes. They’re deep set, dark, and slightly turned down.

Ps. I ate the damn cookies last night. About half the batch. And they were good

By: Dolly

Dolly — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 19:38:50 +0000

Great post!
Have you read The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf?

By: Julia

Julia — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 19:27:35 +0000

Your posts always remind me of a photo that was taken when I was younger=–maybe 10 yrs old. I have exactly the same physique as I do today, complete with chubby thighs. But I’m looking at the camera with total confidence, and I can tell from my expression and what I remember of the photo being taken, that I’m in love with the moment: with me being on the beach in the beautiful sunset, with my legs cradled in the sand, but mostly, with me being me. At that point, (going along with comments you’d made about being homschooled, and how at least for me, being in that cocooned environment makes it easy not to doubt yourself or think that anyone could not accept you the way you are), I know that it had never occured to me not to love my body because it was mine, and I was so comfortable in my own skin, running, jumping, laughing, but never stuck as I am now with that cool voice that won’t stop fighting my attempts to recover the feeling that has been trapped in a photo since that time.

By: Liss

Liss — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 17:41:21 +0000

Cindy, I love your comments!

Kate, this is so well said. I love the image of you looking in the mirror at the movies and realizing you like what you see. When that happens to me I’m caught off guard too. And happy.

I love this topic!