I like to think of men as “allies” although I inherited my mother’s paranoia so I tend to be very suspicious of them. And it’s so important to remember that there are a lot of great guys out there, and that maybe beauty standards (assuming we’re trying to impress the men anyway) don’t have to be so rigid. I love the secret you revealed in this post and I want to remember it every day.

I love your writing!

On men…

It’s true that their standards of beauty are far-ranging and vary across cultures, and that what women tend to consider an objective standard of beauty is in fact propagated more by the media than by MAN. (holla bobbi!)

But to me, the fundamental issue is that of “beauty” as an ideal. Sure, it can have many different definitions and even applications – one can have a “beautiful” voice or a “beautiful” character. But I find that generally when people (both males and females alike) characterize a woman, all of her intelligence, personality, humor, will, creativity – in short, every wonderful thing that she has to offer – is ultimately reduced to a simple question of whether she is beautiful or not. So although the scope of female beauty is nearly infinite, it’s still an ideal that every woman strives to realize, not even knowing what that ideal entails. This is problematic in itself.

On the other hand, when girlfriends gather ’round to discuss a male, the characterization of “handsome” is not prized above all others – in fact, it sounds pretty silly to reduce a man’s multifaceted-ness to a question of “handsome or not?” Why? Because it’s objectifying and narrow-minded.

I’m not sure if I’m even making sense anymore, and I don’t mean to point out that men are the root of all evil. Like you, some of the most thoughtful, sensitive, and caring people I am lucky to have in my life are males. But I do feel that females are socialized to believe that to be beautiful is what is right, and thus stems a lot of our, er…problems.

Looking forward to getting to know you better!

-Charlotte

Un-roast: Today, I love my hair for being surprising, big, curly, and short compared to every woman I know.

I feel like this post just raised me self-esteem a few notches. Confidence is beautiful and sexy; thank you for reminding me to be a confident woman.

Unroast: I have pretty awesome breasts. Yes, they are larger and sometimes get in the way while running, but they’re pretty damn sexy and can give some great cleavage without being too much. I like the angle at which they slope down towards the center.