Women who don’t wear pants in the winter
I was waiting for the train, freezing in about fifteen layers of wool and flannel, and a woman five feet away was wearing a pencil skirt, a cute jacket, and heels. No leggings. No stockings. She was not shivering pathetically or falling to the ground, dead of hypothermia. She was not begging me for one of my coats. She was just standing there, looking calm and sexy. Looking so very Manhattan chic.
That isn’t physically possible, I thought. I’m hallucinating. I’ve entered an alternate universe. Which is pretty actually pretty great, when you think about it, since I’ve always wanted to enter an alternate universe, ever since I was a small child…But then I remembered last winter in Manhattan. And the winters at college, where the girls picked their way through the slush and ice in high heels and tiny dresses. The girls who wore short skirts and boots in the winter. The girls who always had makeup on. Even when they had the flu.
I have never understood this.
(you could wear this! remember when this style became incredibly popular? it always looked terrible on me. source)
OK. I have understood this. When I was eleven. I remember it. We were going to Howell Living Farm. I think that’s what it was called. “A working historical farm!” They had livestock, maple trees that were tapped for syrup, hay fields, and a pond, where they harvested ice in the winter. Just like people used to do, a long time ago, before they figured out electricity. They cut enormous blocks of ice and pulled them up from the water and stored them in a special chamber underground. Like an underground refrigerator. Apparently they also usually made ice cream afterward, to celebrate. Or maybe that was just us modern people, who require a lot of ice cream in order to stop whining. Anyway, we made ice cream afterward, and then, shivering uncontrollably, we ate it.
But first we had to go out to the pond and do stuff with the ice. And it was freezing. I was with my homeschool group (we got together for fun, social things, like hacking ice out of a frozen pond). Maggie was there, and so was the boy I liked, and maybe five or six other kids our age. I wanted to look my best. And my best did not include a puffy winter jacket. So I tugged it off my shoulders and let it hang around my elbows.
Mom came over to me and said, “Put your jacket on. Zip it up. It’s cold out.”
I pulled it up and let it slide down again as soon as she was gone. Freezing was better than looking stupid. So I froze the whole day.
Years later, I saw the photos from that day in an album Mom put together. I look ridiculous with the coat hanging off me like that, standing in the snow looking pained and awkward. I laughed, because I remembered exactly what I’d been thinking. I’d been thinking, “This looks better. I look a lot better like this.”
(that doesn’t count! put some pants on! you’ll catch your death! source)
I’m not completely cured. My winter coat is very pretty. I didn’t buy one of those huge padded things that comes down to my ankles. But I think I’ll probably get there one day without too much trouble.
It is so cold in my apartment that I can’t think about anything except for the cold. I’ve been wearing a scarf indoors and thinking about moving somewhere below the equator. My family ties and friendships begin to break down as I imagine myself walking around in a tee shirt and shorts. Flip flops. Sitting outside with my laptop.
But I know for a fact that down there on the street there are (usually young) women wearing nothing but a low cut dress and a vest with faux fur. And some trim, high heeled boots. And they will probably continue to do this throughout the winter. Maybe they don’t get as cold as I do. Maybe it’s genetic. There can definitely be a lot of variation. But I can’t help but think of myself at eleven, believing absolutely that as soon as I put that jacket on, I would be unattractive, and the boy would forget about me and fall for Maggie, and my budding social life would shatter into a million pieces.
I’m considering investing in a pair of giant, furry slippers, so I can stop wearing wool socks and knit boots in the house. Maybe I’ll get one of those huge, shapeless down coats while I’m at it. As a statement of defiance against the rules of sexiness. As a declaration of solidarity with the women who value their lives over their looks. And also just because I’m really, really cold.
(it’s waiting for me… source)
* * * *
Un-roast: Today I love the way that for a second, when I saw myself in the mirror the other day, I thought, “That girl has a really unique look.” And I thought it in a good way.
P.S. Send me photos of yourself eating cake for the cake gallery! DO IT!!
Sona responded on 08 Dec 2010 at 11:40 am #
Honestly, not every woman’s shape is flattered by pants. By a freak occurrence, I am wearing pants today, but they are tailored, and were not cheap. I look better in dresses and skirts as a result, tend to wear stockings and mix up different types of leg warmers and socks and boots during the winter. I do think it is very odd that the woman wasn’t wearing stockings, however!!!
However, I’m sure come January and February someone will look at me like I’m a freak when I’m walking around, but I can never find enough pairs of pants that look flattering, and I have meetings and other times where I need to be confident in how I look. I do not love the fact that most men I know don’t worry about this on a daily basis, but I do.
I understand that some women are willing to bear the cold to wear the clothes that give them confidence, and I understand that only in the sense that perhaps they need a certain look in their industry, their office, or whatever. As long as she doesn’t try to latch on to me for warmth in the subway, it’s cool. I know it is just part of the BS women deal with on a daily basis.
Mme Wong responded on 08 Dec 2010 at 11:52 am #
I clearly remember similar scenarios in my pre-teen and teen years. Coats were not to be zipped up or buttoned, gloves were never to be worn and hats, well, let’s just say hats were completely forbidden.
Years later, in my late teens and early twenties, I was also that girl, braving the cold and icy sidewalks with stiletto boots, armed with not much more than a short furry coat and fishnet stockings (ok, writing this, I realize it evokes an unbelievably trashy image, but these were the late 90′s and early 2000′s and I guess it worked a bit more elegantly back then…)
Seriously, how did I do it? I get uncomfortably cold just thinking about it now, and I really can’t wrap my mind around it… That said, I also remember vividly how much I hated winter back then.
I’ve completely gone over to the other side now, and I cannot fathom going out without a hat, a big puffy coat and super warm boots these days. I’ve even been known to rock snow pants on really cold days (a must when waiting for the bus on a cold Montreal sidewalk, I swear). I’ve recently purchased one of those super extra long down coats (on sale, yay!) and I can’t wait to wear it (I’m waiting until it get really cold, which will undoubtedly happen come January).
And this bizarre thing happened: I actually don’t mind being outside in winter anymore… I wonder why…
Sona responded on 08 Dec 2010 at 11:55 am #
Snow pants sound amazing, actually. Makes me think of a nap.
Christin@purplebirdblog responded on 08 Dec 2010 at 11:56 am #
I love that black coat that you posted. For half a second, I actually wished it got cold enough here to warrant a coat like that.
Kate responded on 08 Dec 2010 at 11:58 am #
@Sona
Snow pants!! I forgot about them! Those were incredible.
I don’t like the way I look in most pants. But if I’m going out (or, apparently, staying in) in the winter, I wear leggings under those loose black yoga-type pants, and boots.
But it’s true that I wouldn’t be able to wear that to work on Wall Street or a fashion magazine.
Joyce responded on 08 Dec 2010 at 12:07 pm #
I have that black coat and I’m bringing it with me when I visit New York in January. I had to mail order it because full length puffy coats are near impossible to find in California.
Justine responded on 08 Dec 2010 at 12:19 pm #
For years I was that girl freezing in a lightweight jacket all through the winter to look cool. After that it was pretty wool coats (which I still love), but then a few years ago it became unbearable to get up and walk the mile to the subway in the freezing cold, so I went to Macy’s and bought the cheapest, puffiest, down-filled coat I could find and have been wearing it once the temperature goes below 30 every year since. I call it my “garbage bag” coat, which is definitely what it looks like, it’s not sexy, but it’s warm. Also you don’t have to worry about cat calling when you’re wearing a big tube of black puffy nylon with no shape whatsoever, it’s essentially a sleeping bag. I go crazy when I see girls barelegged in the winter—I don’t know how they do it! When I’m freezing my skin gets all blotchy and chapped and doesn’t look good anyway, so it just seems pointless. Anyway, I would definitely suggest investing in both a long puffy coat and a good pair of warm slippers, your comfort and happiness in the winter will increase ten fold!
Ellie Di responded on 08 Dec 2010 at 1:23 pm #
I don’t get it, either! It totally boggles my mind. My husband and I went to see A Christmas Carol last weekend when it was 22F out, and he didn’t understand why I was upset about my clothing. A nice pantsuit doesn’t cut it in below-freezing temps, dammit. And my sister-in-law? She was wearing a short skirt and a thin sweater. WHAT THE HELL? Do. Not. Understand.
Valerie responded on 08 Dec 2010 at 2:42 pm #
I was wondering the exact same thing yesterday! I see all these children at my work and they’re wandering around in shorts while it’s snowing and has been snowing for days and there is no sign it’s going to let up. I tell them they are absolutely insane because, I think, maybe if there are more people that vocalize how insane people are for wanting to “look cool” as opposed to staying warm then perhaps it will change. So far, my experiment has worked with some of the children and I don’t understand what parent would let a child walk out of the house in track pants styled shorts when it’s eleven degrees farenheit outside or lower.
The same thing goes for women (I don’t really see grown men shirking their winter attire in order to look HAWT!). I saw this woman a few weeks ago, teetering around on stilettos and shivering her ass off in a micro-mini. I didn’t once think, “Damn, she’s fine and she must be super human because the cold does not effect her.” Instead I thought, “What a complete idiot. She must be really insecure if she’d rather look fashionable than live through the winter.”
I mean, if you want to wear a skirt…your choice, but for the love of all things holy, Don’t wear a skirt with no leggings or stockings or leg warmers if you’re going to be standing outside for more than 20 minutes in sub zero temperatures. And didn’t your mother ever tell you to put on a coat?
I feel sorry for these people. I want to buy them and subsequently glue them into a Snuggie. Don’t make me go that far!
Kate responded on 08 Dec 2010 at 3:03 pm #
@Valerie
You crack me up. Go ahead, glue them into a Snuggie!
Ally responded on 08 Dec 2010 at 3:46 pm #
I always put up a fight when my mom would try to make me wear my winter coat to school when it first started to get cold out… definitely it seemed that the more layers you had on the dorkier you were, at least in my mind. I completely recall the whole pulling off the jacket part way thing, I thought it would make me seem more aloof and casual about everything and not the desperate-to-look cool girl that I really was. When I hit highschool and my mom had little to no say in what I wore I switched to light coats and was always freezing. I’m almost 30 now, and I work in an office environment, and I’m still brought back to old insecurities when I see girls casually walking down icy, slushy sidewalks in stilettos like it’s no big thing, while I’m clunking along in salt-stained giant boots.
About the skirts in the winter thing, I also don’t suit pants very well and usually opt for a nice shortish (but appropriate length) a-line. But I always pair them with opaque black tights. Bare legs in this weather?? That’s hardcore!
Wei-Wei responded on 08 Dec 2010 at 4:26 pm #
I also don’t understand people who wear shorts, stockings, and Uggs in the winter – are you seasonally confused or something?
Just Josie responded on 08 Dec 2010 at 5:03 pm #
I didn’t realize that those kinds of coats and snow pants had ever gone “out” in the first place? Ah well, it’s rural Indiana, it’s no big secret that we’re not the fashion capital of the world here.
Anyway, I kind of hate pants a lot. They pull and stretch and sag and rub in all the wrong places, and being as little as I am with a weight that fluctuates so much, finding a pair that actually fits is an ordeal. I have to wear them a lot now, but I hate them. I wore a dress today, though. But I also had on leggings, boots, a coat, mittens, earmuffs, and my scarf.
Mostly when I see women like that, I feel a little sad. But then I also remember going to Christmas concerts in which I sang as a little kid and being hella cold because I had to be dressed up, and that not bothering me. When I see children like that, though, I get sad because it’s generally pretty safe to assume that they want to look “cool” and “tough” so they’re freezing their tail off… or they’re too poor to afford a coat.
Coats for Kids ftw!
Ashley responded on 08 Dec 2010 at 5:22 pm #
Maybe she had a special event going on. I’ve been that girl in the dress in feet of snow while strangers looked at me with judgement, but I was on my way to a funeral…so what was their excuse for not minding their own damn business? Haha.
San D responded on 08 Dec 2010 at 5:25 pm #
No one has died (that I know of) from not wearing stockings when they are wearing skimpy clothing in the winter. Heck, I was the classic dork with more clothes than necessary, with just a set of eyes peering out from under the muffler. My sister, not only didn’t wear stockings, wore heels, and left her coat unbuttoned, while she smoked on the corner on the way to school. She was “cool” on many levels. Now she is a doting grandmother and makes sure her grandkid buttons up. Clothing to me is a form of individualism, expression and doesn’t always make sense to the observer. Of course there are times I wish everyone owned a full length mirror, but hey, that’s me.
Claire Allison responded on 09 Dec 2010 at 2:00 am #
My middle school was full of kids who actually couldn’t afford winter coats and so it was cool to not wear proper winter clothes because it meant you weren’t trying to be rich. For some reason, being well prepared had this implicit association with snobby and wealthy, and that pretty much led to a bizarre sort of death to your social life. The smartest, and geekiest, kid in our grade wore his snowpants and snowboots the moment it got cold out, paired with his drastically out of style Toronto-Raptor’s coat that he’d had since the fourth grade… so dressing well for the weather also meant you looked like our own version of Urkel. Apparently we associated winter coats with wealth and intelligence.. and that… was a bad thing? God, kids are fucked up…
Kate responded on 09 Dec 2010 at 10:52 am #
And this would be why I moved from DC to Texas – because my “winter coat” is a hoodie and I was wearing shorts last weekend.
When I see people like that here (keep in mind that “cold” for us is 50 degrees) I don’t believe they’re intentionally suffering, I just think that cold weather baffles them. Their whole world is based around acclimating to 100+ degree temps, that when jeans and a long-sleeved shirt don’t cut it, it genuinely confuses them.
Kate responded on 09 Dec 2010 at 11:18 am #
@Kate
I’m jealous. I want to be in Texas right now.
And that’s a surprising take on the issue! I hadn’t even thought for a second that these people might be displaced Texans
MWN responded on 11 Dec 2010 at 12:39 am #
I go pantless in the winter sometimes. I also have hormone issues that make me sweat in 30 degrees…(The hormones don’t cause me to wear makeup when I have a fever, though.)
I got a faux leather jacket for $25 in SoHo a few weeks ago, and now feel like SUCH a sexy badass when I wear it. So that solves your jacket issue!
JStolk responded on 11 Dec 2010 at 3:04 pm #
I’m one of those girls you see running around without a jacket. I grew up in the very rainy, coastal part of the PNW and playing in the rain/ puddles was my favorite past-time, so I guess I got to the point where the cold just doesn’t bother me. It has to be about 40 degrees before I feel the need to wear long sleeves, and down near the teens for me to wear a jacket… However, I am rarely seen prancing about sexily in heels and skirts, that just seems crazy to me in freezing or near freezing weather.
Brittie responded on 12 Dec 2010 at 12:03 am #
I remember my senior year of high school I considered myself to be some kind of cool hippiesque, political rebel (I am from a very conservative little town in the middle of IL), and to go along with that for whatever reason, I decided to only wear flip flops the whole year…because I thought it was “cool,” even in the snow. And while it was really cold, I just got used to it. I did it most of the way through college, though sometimes I would wear those flat clog things (no socks of course, because I didn’t think socks were cool). And now I live in FL, so I def. wear only flip flops all year round. It gets down to the high 30s sometimes, but the high 30s with no snow, is def no problem for me after those wintry IL days.