Purses
Last week, I got the first real purse I’ve ever had. It is brown and black and gray. It can fit a book, a knit cap, gloves, and all of the normal little things (wallet, phone, tiny mirror, chapstick, random bobby pins, fifteen receipts from Duane Reade, unopened mail, the earrings that I have to take off after an hour because they hurt my ears). I feel like a woman. I carry it everywhere. I don’t know why it took me this long to get it.
There is a point when girls start carrying purses. I don’t know when it starts exactly, but it’s probably shockingly young. I missed it. And then, at another point later on, those purses become much more mature and practical looking. The colors get more subtle. The shapes are less creative. They grow large enough to fit everything you might need to sustain you for a week, if you find yourself stranded in the wilderness, or in the middle of Manhattan.
Purses are like shoes. Some women seem to know a lot about them, and care a lot about them, and have a lot of them, and other women, like me, somehow grow up with the mistaken impression that they are the least important part of an outfit. Women like me think it doesn’t matter if you carry a badly stained turquoise canvas bag that says “Hospice of Somerset” on it instead of a Dolce & Gabbana handbag with compartments and presence. We think that the sneakers our father bought us when we were thirteen are fine to wear on the plane on our fourth date with the man we will someday marry. (That might actually just be me.)
(source)
The thing about the canvas bag, though, is that everything gets mixed together, and covered with crumbs (kind of like it’s being breaded in preparation for a delicious dish featuring toasted ipod and braised hairbrush). The things you need to get to quickly fall to the bottom and are sometimes lost for hours at a time. Frantic seconds pass at the subway turnstile while the train grinds to a halt below and the metro card is nowhere to be found. The doors open to the mechanical *ding* and people start to push up the steps. Somehow, a wilting bunch of parsley and the latest New Yorker have conspired to conceal everything else in the bag.
The thing about the Reeboks that Dad picked out is, they’re really ugly.
Some parts of growing up make a lot of sense.
I feel kind of proud of myself, carrying my new purse. I’ve joined the ranks of women who can go somewhere sort of formal. Who don’t have to wear turquoise socks to feel somewhat coordinated. Who understand fashion.
Except that I got the purse at Target. So maybe I still have a ways to go. There’s a chance I’ll never get there. But you know, baby steps. Baby steps in new sneakers.
* * *
Un-roast: Today I love the way the cracks in my chapped lips look. Like I live on the tundra. When I was a kid, I really liked the book Julie of the Wolves….
P.S. I’ve faced the wedding photos. And I’m trying to get some together for tomorrow’s post. Eeep.
Post about how organized my mom is at Un-schooled.
Becca responded on 20 Dec 2010 at 12:52 pm #
One of the main things about being a grown-up is the ability to look fab without spending a fortune. Wear your Target with pride!
I think I got my first handbag (over here, a purse is something you keep your coins in!) when I needed somewhere to hide my cigarettes. Eep. I don’t have the cigarettes anymore!
Kate responded on 20 Dec 2010 at 1:03 pm #
Where is “over here,” out of curiosity? Yeah, I feel like “purse” might be a really old word. Shows how much I know…
Christin@purplebirdblog responded on 20 Dec 2010 at 1:12 pm #
For the first time in my life I also got a “real purse” recently, a Vera Bradley bag. However, I didn’t spend the full $70 on it, I found it gently used on eBay for $28!@#% My kinda designer, right there.
AlisonM responded on 20 Dec 2010 at 2:08 pm #
I am looking forward to seeing the wedding photos
I was never really a purse person. Or a shoe person. I tried in my mid-20s. I managed it for a year or so. But now I’ve gone back to lace-ups and a backpack. I guess I reached the point where I care more about backache and falling down in the snow than I do about looking chic!
Becca responded on 20 Dec 2010 at 2:09 pm #
The UK
Ladies have purses and keep them in their handbags. Men have wallets! I think every American person I hear/read says “purse”.
Kate responded on 20 Dec 2010 at 2:23 pm #
@Becca
Well, at least I’m not alone. It seems like the ads are switching over to “handbags.”
Holly responded on 20 Dec 2010 at 3:55 pm #
LOVE Julie of the Wolves. and now I shall never think of chapped winter lips the same way.
Valerie responded on 20 Dec 2010 at 4:17 pm #
Love shoes. The wackier looking the better. Sadly, with my lack of womanly ways, I can never seem to coordinate a proper outfit with the billions of shoes I acquire. Instead, I stare wistfully at the black patent leather, peep toe ankle boots sitting in my closet. I cannot picture myself in something to go with said boots. Words like micro-mini and cowl neck float through my brain, but I almost have a heart attack. Wearing such things, I would not recognize myself.
I got a purse once I started taking the bus and going to work all the time. I needed something to stash my stuff in and having pockets jammed full of paper and change is “unprofessional” or so they say. So I went through a couple purses…the pink vinyl Felix the cat purse, the vinyl chinese take out purse, the black canvas with stars purse. I don’t take my purses to seriously and I DESPISE the word purse. I usually just say bag.
My loving boyfriend, however, gave me a bag that I absolutely love. It’s like a mini-messenger bag type thing, in black, with a ton of pockets and hiding spaces. I don’t think I’ll ever need another bag again. It goes with everything and it suits me.
Kate responded on 20 Dec 2010 at 4:27 pm #
@Valerie
I love the look of those messenger bags. Maybe I’ll look for one of those and regress back to my usual state of mismatching immaturity.
Alii Silverwing responded on 20 Dec 2010 at 5:31 pm #
I come from the apocalypse survival school of adventure kit building, so not having a purse makes me feel empty-handed. When I travel light and tuck my wallet in my pocket, I kind of twitch that I’m ‘missing something’ because I’m used to carrying a bag of some sort.
One of my favorite purses is a messenger bag I got from the army surplus store that I’ve covered in buttons.
I consider that a real purse, myself.
I never really understood the name-brand thing. I prefer accessories that look classy that don’t cost fifty zillion dollars, aren’t hideous, and aren’t covered in branding.
San D responded on 20 Dec 2010 at 6:18 pm #
Just a word to the wise….it’s weird actually but a truism…the bigger the purse the more crap you will fill it with….I carry a small crossbody bag, that leaves my hands free to use for everything from buying to eating.
AW responded on 20 Dec 2010 at 6:52 pm #
I say “pocketbook,” but my hubby always laughs at that. I go for a while with a purse, then change to a tote, or a wristlet, or a backpack, or… well, you get it. I don’t carry one for too long without switching it up for the outfit, season, activity, etc.
Kate responded on 20 Dec 2010 at 6:55 pm #
@San D
Good point. But I really do love being able to fit a book. It encourages me to read more.
Kate responded on 20 Dec 2010 at 6:55 pm #
@AW
Pocketbook! Totally! I’ve been known to say that too…
Wei-Wei responded on 22 Dec 2010 at 3:01 am #
I actually don’t know much about bags. Or shoes. Or accessories. Or dressing myself up, in general. I’m like a guy – I love it when my hands are free and I can stuff everything I have on me (phone, wallet, keys) into my pockets. I feel so limited and, well, girly when I have a bag/purse on me.
Just Josie responded on 22 Dec 2010 at 5:59 pm #
@Wei-Wei: Yeah, no, that’s pretty much exactly how I am as well, haha.
I actually have a list of things that I refuse to do as I age, or that I’ll ideally refrain from engaging in. It’ll be interesting to see if I end up doing any of them. Like, for example, I’ve got carrying purses, wearing those atrocious Christmas sweaters, chopping my hair off above the shoulder (though I’ve got nothing against women who do choose to get their hair cut that short!), wearing makeup, etc…
Lose Weight Without Diets | Berberine Information responded on 27 Dec 2010 at 3:56 am #
[...] Eat the Damn Cake » Purses [...]
Mandy responded on 18 Jan 2011 at 11:53 am #
I’m a massage therapist (ten years and counting!) so I have a huge bias against the enormous purses with the short little staps–NOT good for the shoulders. I prefer the bag with the strap long enough to wear cross-body, because no matter how light the purse might be, I always find myself tucking the shoulder supporting the purse up into my ear to keep the strap(s) in place.
Personally, I have a love/hate relationship with my handbag: I like the convenience of being able to carry a lot of stuff (including a book,) but at times it feels like I’m toting an achor around. I’d love to be able to shove everything in my pockets, but unfortunately, women’s fashions do not encourage pockets large enough to fit more than a single tissue or a movie ticket.
“toasted ipod and braised hairbrush”?!?!? LOL!
Never had the crumb problem, myself, but I did have an episode with “keys marinated in hand lotion…” Fortunately, I was able to clean up the slick before it endangered my wallet.
Emmi responded on 16 Mar 2011 at 3:13 pm #
I have never been in the habit of carrying a purse. I have several nice ones, but I never know what to put in it. Most of my apparel has pockets, and I prefer to keep wallet and cellphone and keys as close to me as they can be (I have a knack for making things disappear into the void when they get more than a couple of inches away from me). The only time I carry a purse is when I have zero pockets, and then I feel like I’m always going to leave the damn thing somewhere.
This may be trauma from college when I kept my favorite loose powder eyeshadow inside a purse, which inevitably exploded and ruined the purse and its contents. Though I was much more upset about losing the eyeshadow.