How did my butt get this big?

The weirdest thing is happening. My body is changing. I’m like a transformer– one second I’m just an ordinary looking person and the next…I AM SPACE ROBOT KATE FROM THE PLANET ZYLEX FOUR. I HAVE COME NOT TO HURT YOU BUT TO HELP YOU SAVE YOUR WORLD FROM CERTAIN DOOM. It’s a pretty noble calling, saving the world from doom. I try to take it one day at a time, y’know?

(I’m this one. It’s the cutest. Except I don’t start out as a car.  source)

But really. I hit twenty-four, March of last year, and my body was like, “Alright. Enough is enough. I’m bored as, um, bored can be. Things are about to get CRAZY in here!” (My body watches its language when we’re in public.) Things got crazy. All of my fat started relocating, like it had just decided to up and move to the mountains and never come back. Which I sympathize with.

Suddenly, my butt was a lot bigger. Bear did that thing where he sweeps me off my feet and runs around with me (to show how strong he is and how seriously he takes being a husband), and we went by a mirror and I was like, “Whoa. Stop right there. Is that my butt?” He stopped. I was like, “I mean, like, all of that…Does that all count as the butt? Even way over on the sides? Because that is HUGE.”

He seemed like he may already have known.

My breasts got bigger (though, as I mentioned before, not enough to bust through to the next cup size), my belly got bigger. There were certain little clingy dresses that suddenly looked embarrassing. My arms got chubbier, and so did my thighs. Just about everything was chubbier, actually.

So finally I decided to weigh myself, and see how dramatic things really were. I don’t own a scale, so I almost never weigh myself. I got on the scale at my parents’ house. I held my breath. I closed my eyes and prayed. I looked slowly, slowly down. For a second, I thought I saw it tell me that I was thirty pounds heavier than the last time I’d checked. And then my vision cleared and it was telling me that I was exactly the same weight I’d been for a long time. No, wait, I was three pounds lighter.

I have no idea what the deal is.

What is with that? Seriously. What is happening?

I don’t think there’s any going back, really. This may just be my new body. I may just have to deal with it. It happened so suddenly, like going through puberty, that I wasn’t prepared.

Bear likes to take credit. He says that it’s all the husband pheromones he’s releasing all the time, that are making my body prepare for childbirth, or something. He says this jokingly, but I’m not ready to rule it out. I don’t really have a better explanation. Maybe I should birth a few children, to test the theory. Kidding. That was definitely a joke.

Sometimes I’m scared. I get this sense that my body is in control, and I don’t have a say. Who knows what might happen next. Fur? A third arm?

And then sometimes I’m just impressed. Like, way to go body. That must be some sort of record. You did that in like fifteen seconds. Kudos. You’re an artist. An artiste! And look at the butt! That is some butt.

(source)

*  *  *

Un-roast: Today I love how much pleasure I get out of eating pizza.

New post at Un-schooled about being shy.

36 Comments »

Kate on February 15th 2011 in beauty, body

36 Responses to “How did my butt get this big?”

  1. Erin Block responded on 15 Feb 2011 at 11:12 am #

    Oh, how I relate to this post! I haven’t gained much weight either, but suddenly, just this year, I look….more…..”matronly.”

    A woman’s curves. Not a girl’s.

    It’s weird. And I hope the fur and third arm thing doesn’t happen!

  2. Cassie responded on 15 Feb 2011 at 11:19 am #

    I used to be stick thin, like, size zero jeans, not an ounce of fat skinny. Then I went to college, and my body starting changing too. Not the freshman 15, although that definitely played a part. It was the exact kind of changes you’re talking about here! I taught dance, and interacted with super skinny girls all the time, and suddenly, I wasn’t one of them.

    My best friend told me not to worry about it – that those super skinny high school girls would regret flaunting their tiny flat stomachs when their “woman genes” finally kicked in.

    I love that saying, and I think about it often. Who wouldn’t want those “woman genes” to kick in? I’ve finally reached the point in my life when I’m not a girl, I’m a woman, full blown, butt, boobs, and all.

    My un-roast: I love that I have a little junk in my trunk now. This was a way better change than puberty.

  3. Johann responded on 15 Feb 2011 at 12:01 pm #

    One of my favorite posts of yours so far. I had such a laugh reading it :)

  4. Andrea responded on 15 Feb 2011 at 12:05 pm #

    I just get so depressed, reading about or listening to people who are teeny-weeny talking about how depressed they are about being SO BIG. Sad face! :(

  5. Kate responded on 15 Feb 2011 at 12:07 pm #

    @Johann
    Thanks!!

  6. Kate responded on 15 Feb 2011 at 12:09 pm #

    @Andrea
    I’m a little confused (and not even in a snarky, “what are you trying to say about me, jerk?” way) . Do you think I’m doing that? I’m not teeny-weeny, for one. I’m pretty average-sized (except, perhaps for my butt). And I’m definitely not depressed about getting bigger! Just surprised, confused, and fascinated.

  7. Liz Nord responded on 15 Feb 2011 at 1:54 pm #

    Kate, I think I know what Andrea is saying. I get it, but I don’t think it’s fair. Every woman I have ever met from a size double zero to 48W has struggled with body image issues. Women who are thin or “average sized” should be allowed to talk about their body image issues too. I wish I had more curves. I have complained about my lack of breasts, just as women who are more curvaceous complain about too much booty. What’s the difference? I think the point is that we all struggle with our bodies at some point in our lives. Just my two cents…

  8. mia responded on 15 Feb 2011 at 2:21 pm #

    ” I get this sense that my body is in control, and I don’t have a say.”

    But you actually didn’t gain any weight, and it was all in your head — same as the chubby arms post. It was just a case of a non-fat woman *feeling* fat.

  9. Kate responded on 15 Feb 2011 at 2:34 pm #

    @Mia
    I didn’t gain any weight, but my body changed. Not in my head. But, you know, on my body :)

  10. Ellie Di responded on 15 Feb 2011 at 2:46 pm #

    I noticed the same thing when I was around 24-25, too. My hips and breasts swelled, my thighs and belly got more round. This stressed me out for a long time because I couldn’t understand why I was changing. I thought I was done shapeshifting after college (well, at least until I get pregnant).

    But I was reading Already Pretty one day, and Sally mentioned that women go through multiple stages of body changes throughout their whole lives. Some of them are just sneakier than others. One of the big ones is right in that 25-year-old range.

    I came to terms with my changes soon after that. I like the new soft shapes I’ve got. And I hope you love yours, too.

  11. Kate responded on 15 Feb 2011 at 2:50 pm #

    @Ellie Di
    Aha! I knew someone would tell me what was going on!

    Yeah, I’m enjoying the new look, as unexpected as it is.

  12. janetha responded on 15 Feb 2011 at 2:58 pm #

    Awesome post. Just wait til you are 3 years older. My body had a mind of its own!

  13. Raven responded on 15 Feb 2011 at 3:39 pm #

    My body started to do that to me when I was 16. I’d gone from a rail thin kid who stole food because my mom was always on a diet, and thought I should suffer along with her (to prevent me from getting fat, ha!) to a meatier teen to a size 12 jeans within the matter of four years. Then I started choreography as a Sophomore, and despite dancing six hours a day, five days a week and walking several miles a week (and barely eating) for three years, my weight kept climbing. By my senior year, my dance instructor pulled me aside to talk to me about my appearance. I was 190lbs. and I didn’t know why.

    I lost weight after getting pregnant (I was 20lbs. lighter within a month of my daughter’s birth), and for a while, I was walking and active enough while breastfeeding that I stayed around 220. Then I started working, and despite all the miles walked each day, I gained more and more weight. Now I’m 260 and steady for five years, but I have no idea why my body decided to be in this shape. I liked being a size 12/14, but now my belly gets in the way, and though my breasts are huge, I can’t do shoulder stands in yoga. *shrugs* I eat well now, lots of good, healthy organic foods cooked at home, but I have to wonder how much this shape is based on the choices of my mid- to late-childhood, and how much is just the way I was meant to be.

    I’m now taking swimming and yoga classes to deal with mobility and autoimmune issues. Who knows what new shape my body will be in after a few months of this concentrated work.

  14. AlisonM responded on 15 Feb 2011 at 4:02 pm #

    Oh Kate, I love you for writing this post! Isn’t is weird, the things that bodies do. I know something similar happened to me in my early 20s, and it has happened again to me in the last year, when I came off the pill. Literally all the excess fat in my body is on my arms and my butt n thighs. It’s the weirdest distribution, to the point of being inconvenient. My chest is in danger of looking skeletal, and you can even vaguely see my abs on good days. And then my arms! I have had to go up a shirt size, because I can’t fit in the sleeves. But then it looks really sad over my breasts, because I’ve gone down 2 cup sizes.

    All this from coming off the pill. So maybe my body also thinks it’s preparing for babies? It’s in denial about the fact that I didn’t have a date yesterday ;)

  15. Sona responded on 15 Feb 2011 at 4:03 pm #

    @Raven – it sounds like you possibly have hypothyroidism? Especially if you have an autoimmune condition, that’s pretty likely.

  16. JJgal responded on 15 Feb 2011 at 4:45 pm #

    I have always been curvy, even when I weighed just over 100lbs. (I’m 5’3) But there was a definite shift at around age 24 or so. Not only did I gain a bit, but what I had seemed to have MOVED. To different areas of my body. I don’t want to comment on what I weigh now or what my body looks like now. I haven’t been living a healthy lifestyle so I have no room to complain. But I understand that “shift” that you describe and the sudden sens of “THAT’S what my body looks like? Huh…”

    Time for another Letter to the Body?

    UnRoast: I love that my fiance loves my chubby tummy, even though it still makes me nervous when he “plays with” it.

  17. Christin@purplebirdblog responded on 15 Feb 2011 at 5:22 pm #

    25 is when it all “went to sh*t” for me too. And 28 is when I finally started liking it. :)

  18. Tweets that mention Eat the Damn Cake » How did my butt get this big? -- Topsy.com responded on 15 Feb 2011 at 6:35 pm #

    [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Annabel Candy, Kate . Kate said: Cake eating – How did my butt get this big?: The weirdest thing is happening. My body is changing. I’m like a tr… http://bit.ly/fTALXk [...]

  19. Suzanne responded on 15 Feb 2011 at 7:02 pm #

    dude! (ette);

    IT’S LIKE YOU ARE MY CLONE!!!!! I hit a certain age (think 30′s) and my body exploded! It is larger in every way. Unfortunately I do not weigh the same. I literally put on tons of pounds. I have a bigger butt and belly and thighs and arms and…..etc. It’s really ridiculous. But I am trying to be kind and embrace me for me right in this moment. I am trying authenticity. :)

  20. Mandy responded on 16 Feb 2011 at 12:58 am #

    @Kate;

    I love that you are awed, inspired and fascinated by your evolving body. I love the delight in your tone when you say “That is some butt!”

    Unroast: I love how olive green and luminous my eyes look in the mirror today.

  21. Lauren responded on 16 Feb 2011 at 1:02 am #

    I feel you! I’ve stayed mostly the same weight over the past two years, yet in the past 6 months or so I’ve gained a huge tummy I didn’t have previously, to where jeans that were falling off of me are now uncomfortably tight. And I’m trying not to buy any clothes! Shut the front door, body. I think a lot of it might have to do with transitioning from a retail position where I was on my feet all the time to being a desk monkey, not getting any exercise whatsoever. I’m about a year younger than you.

    Have you stopped exercising/become less active in that time? Remember, muscle weighs more than fat. So you can lose muscle, gain fat, and still lose weight.

  22. Michelle responded on 16 Feb 2011 at 6:48 am #

    I know exactly how you feel! It started at my last birthday (23) so I have an extra year of traveling body fat moving around. I don’t understand where or how it developed! I like Bear’s explanation though, sometimes I’ve thought the same- when I’m not miserable about the development and feel like I look more woman-y. But most days I’m just frustrated at how my old clothes don’t fit right :/

  23. Jess responded on 16 Feb 2011 at 11:15 am #

    YES. About two years ago (so when I was about 24), I discovered a nice soft layer had moved up from my butt (which has always been quite generous) to hang out as more of a muffin-top. I’m coming to terms with it. I’m fairly certain it’s here to stay.

  24. San D responded on 16 Feb 2011 at 12:31 pm #

    Never to be called thin, I did gain weight when I got married too. I chalked it up to the “if I cook and make 4 lambchops, I should eat 2, if he gets 2, I mean it’s 50-50, right” syndrome. It’s hard to cook for 2 people and figure out portions especially if the other person’s metabolism is different than yours, AND especially if everything you (or he) cooks tastes super yummy. Can’t resist. Same goes for buying desserts. I mean if he gets 2 cannoli’s, man, so do I! Next thing you know, the shape I am in can be described as one word “round”.

  25. Jess responded on 16 Feb 2011 at 10:46 pm #

    I. Love. Your. Blog. You’re saying everything I’m thinking! I’ve gone through a huge amount of body change over the last 5 years (from 98lbs to 112lbs… it’s a huge change!) I’ve even got the suddenly-for-no-reason big boobs thing going on.

  26. MWN responded on 17 Feb 2011 at 6:00 pm #

    I didn’t even know that was another body change to expect, so thanks for the PSA. I’m 21, and I swear my boobs are getting a tiny bit bigger. Well, not my boobs so much as my nipples. Apparently nipple size can change? Maybe that’s part of the womanly-curves change that is right around the corner.

    unroast: I can tell my abdominals are getting a lot stronger by how many reps I can do. Even if it’s not a visible difference, it’s still super important, for core strength and keeping me healthy in old age, etc.

  27. Rebecca responded on 17 Feb 2011 at 8:22 pm #

    Hoo boy.

    I often wish that my body weren’t quite so…
    whimsical with the way it looks from day-to-day.

    And yes to feeling like my body is in control,
    and that I have absolutely NO say in it.

    It’s so hard to just roll with time and gravity,
    isn’t it?

  28. Dana Udall-Weiner responded on 21 Feb 2011 at 2:52 pm #

    I remember learning in a gerontology class that things start to seriously change at 25. Which seemed crazy young to me. But I have had that experience of not seeing the scale change, and yet looking at my body and thinking, “whose leg is that?” Luckily no fur. Yet.

  29. Burnout: Fashion | Bonne Vie responded on 02 Mar 2011 at 11:36 am #

    [...] and have grown quite the posterior.  It looks nice (I did just give my butt props… and proof that it’s not just my butt!) but some of my wardrobe just doesn’t fit now.  I hate that in-between stage where I know my [...]

  30. Vanessa responded on 29 Dec 2011 at 10:36 pm #

    Lol don’t worry c: I’m 15 and I was fat then in 6th grade I decided to loose weight I went from 168-113 and I was skinny then this passed summer I gain around 15 pounds but it ALL went to my butt and boobs like I gained a cup size and my jeans were tighter around my thighs and stuff. I think its just nature being all “HEY LOOK IM MAKING YOU INTO A WOMAN xoxo <3"

  31. Eat the Damn Cake » no pictures, please. not when I feel so good. responded on 30 Mar 2012 at 12:58 pm #

    [...] showed off how flat I was, the cloth was so thin. And my butt was bouncing free and scandalous. But whatever. I felt perfectly proportioned, because I was having [...]

  32. werritta responded on 18 Feb 2013 at 11:16 am #

    Yea i was almost flat as a pancake now my BUtt is nice and juicy! Thanks too food;)

  33. werritta responded on 18 Feb 2013 at 11:16 am #

    My Butt is Big and juicy thanx food!

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  35. Liz responded on 11 Jan 2014 at 12:33 pm #

    So glad I found your post. I’m the same weight I was 2 weeks ago… lighter actually by a pound and I barely fit into my pants. My butt is bigger and my stomach is bigger. The only think I can think is I’m less active, which has been true, but if you told me I was 129 lbs I’d believe it, instead of 124. Odd odd odd!

    Did you figure this out? I don’t think this is my “new body.”

  36. How To Get A Bigger Booty And Smaller Waist responded on 04 Mar 2014 at 10:18 am #

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