Little Victories: my breasts

How appropriate is the title of this series for this particular post?! I have small breasts. You guys know. I’ve written about them before. Hi Mom! I’m writing about my boobs on the internet again! (Sigh. I’ll never amount to anything…)

Refresher: my Little Victories series is a weekly effort to write about something I feel good about, or something I don’t feel bad about. It’s like an extended unroast. It’s a reminder that life is cool and so is my body.


Back to boobs: When I first started developing them, I thought I had cancer. Really. Some annoying kid who was showing off on the skating rink slammed into me and my chest HURT. It hurt in this way that I thought nothing should be allowed to hurt. I assumed I had a tumor. Or two. I was, like, twelve. Already neurotic.

“Mom,” I said, “Something’s wrong with my chest.”

“Probably not,” she said, calmly.

She was right. Later, when I was fourteen or so, I had real breasts. As in, not just lumps buried way under the skin. They stuck out a little. They had legit nipples. And I thought they were fantastic. I met a boy at camp who suggested that my breasts were on the small side, and I proudly corrected him. “No, they’re actually very big.” (Later, he died, and I still think about him sometimes, but that’s another story).

It turned out he was right.

My friends’ breasts surpassed mine. But for some reason, even in a culture obsessed with big boobs, I didn’t mind. I have just always really liked my breasts. When I was a teenager, I used to sketch myself naked, and I paid special attention to the nipples. Nipples are so pretty. And so difficult to capture on paper. Or canvas. The women I paint always have my breasts, and everyone knows it.

“So, is that, like, you?” the boys who saw my paintings would say, grinning and avoiding my eye.

“Nope! But I posed for it, naked.”

“Cool.”

Buying a bra for my wedding was taxing for my relationship with my breasts. Here’s some of that story. The saleswomen I worked with always seemed to think I was lacking. They’d look at my chest, shake their heads sadly, and run to fetch some padding.

I catch people, including my brothers, making jokes about preferring women with big breasts. Sometimes I think it might be true. Sometimes I think it doesn’t even matter.

My breasts don’t get a lot bigger ever. Other girls/women say theirs do. At first, I thought that was a made-up thing. Apparently some boobs are constantly transforming. They’re full of surprises. Not mine. Not when I’m on birth control. Not when I’m getting my period. Not when I gain a lot of weight. Not when my arms get a lot bigger. Not when I try to squish them in funny ways with a fancy bra. None of that works on them. They know who they are. They are simple, straightforward breasts, and they just want to mind their own business.

I’d be lying if I never thought, “I mean, seriously, if they could just be a LITTLE bigger…” Or if I told you that my breasts weren’t included in the list of things I’d adjust when I’m imagining what I’d change about the way I look if I discovered ancient cosmetic magic.

Or if I told you that I’ve never thought, “Bear would like them better if they were bigger,” even though he’s never given any indication of that. And then, “All men do,” as though I am Professor X with the mind-reading hat thing on my head and I can tell what everyone’s thinking and also whether or not they’re a mutant.

I have been jealous of women with bigger breasts, and assumed that their lives are better and more fun and that clothing looks better on them. I have felt less feminine next to them, without having to even understand or analyze what that means. I’ve secretly grumbled to myself when a woman with full breasts complains about them that it’s like a really rich person complaining about having too many options in life or a stunningly gorgeous woman complaining about how hard it is to be beautiful or a brilliant person complaining about how hard it is to understand the world so well or even a dude holding some cookies complaining about his day. Dude, you have cookies.

But despite all that, I’m fine with my breasts. I’m fine with them consistently and without having to think about it. So even my occasional jealousy is like when someone is wearing a necklace that is obviously more lavish and well-crafted than yours, but yours came from your grandma and it has all this cool history and you’ve worn it since you were thirteen. So it balances out. I feel that way about my breasts.

And also, over the course of time I’ve spent with my breasts, I’ve come to realize that it really is difficult for some women to be stunningly beautiful, and for brilliant people to understand so much, and basically that there are always challenges, no matter what your situation– even if you have the breasts that I would give myself if I had ancient cosmetically oriented magic powers. Or maybe you’re just rockin’ them, and you look down constantly and think, “HELL YES.” And if that’s the case, that’s even better. Because at this point in my life, I’d really rather women were happy about the way they look.

I’ll be over here with my nice little breasts, eating this slice of cake, which won’t contribute to their size, but will contribute to my happiness. Hell yes.

*  *  *

How are you all feeling about your breasts today? Small breast pride? Big breast pride? Pride involving breasts somewhere in the middle? Guys– if any of you want to comment here, we can talk pecs. I know how sensitive guys are about the way their chests look.

Unroast: Today I love the way the middle of my chest looks in a very low-cut shirt– it’s just blank. Sort of elegant.

New cake pics! Send me yours! They go in the cake gallery, of course.

(it’s carrot cake batter!)

(who doesn’t want cake on their nose? no one!)

60 Comments »

Kate on December 21st 2011 in Little Victories

60 Responses to “Little Victories: my breasts”

  1. Phix responded on 21 Dec 2011 at 11:52 am #

    I have a photo of the cake, it’s just not as interesting as the batter. IE: I’m not eating it.

  2. Kate responded on 21 Dec 2011 at 11:53 am #

    All cake related photos are accepted. As long as you’re in it. Maybe a before/after? :-)

  3. clickclackgorilla responded on 21 Dec 2011 at 12:23 pm #

    Awesome post. I’ve always been a small-breasted gal myself, though it has spent more time in my life bothering me than anything else. I used to always wear push ups and all that. Funny thing was that it took moving to Germany–where people didn’t make fun of my small breasts, but rather the fact that I wore a push up–to snap me out of it. And now that I’m pregnant it’s INSANE because all of a sudden I’m not small breasted anymore, which is a bit like having stepped into another dimension. I am constantly feeling myself up and then running to my husband and being like “look! look! they’re more than a handful now! holy shit!” And he laughs at me because he seems to like them no matter the size and because it is pretty ridiculous to watch someone running around grabbing their breasts and throwing around exclamation points. :)

  4. Brook responded on 21 Dec 2011 at 12:28 pm #

    It would be wonderful if all of us felt wonderful about our breasts and all our “2000 parts.”
    I’m mostly unconcerned with my breasts. They tend to just be along for the ride. My husband seems to like them, which is good. If he didn’t, I suppose he wouldn’t have ended up as my husband. Occasionally, they have prevented me from purchasing a particularly cute little sundress or top which is irritating, but that’s all.
    Sometimes I wish they were a bit more firm, but the proper undergarment can do the job for us.
    On the subject of ALL men liking bigger…it’s not true at all. ALL men like what THEY like. I’ve heard, “More than a mouthful” is too much. or “Bigger than a wineglass” but I’ve also heard the opposite.

  5. katilda responded on 21 Dec 2011 at 12:28 pm #

    my chest is a kindred spirit with your chest. (is that weird? nah…) Anyway, i echo every sentiment you expressed above….i do have my moments when i’m in a tight-fitting halter swimsut with my flat sternum exposed to the word that i feel sleek and sexy….and then i have moments in formal dresses where i think “something seems to be missing….” BUT…but…i love my little knockers. there’s something lean and subtly sexy about the miniscule curves. Also, this comment box doesn’t think “miniscule” is a word but i swear it is.

  6. Raia responded on 21 Dec 2011 at 12:31 pm #

    I am so proud of my breasts today! They were, and still for the most part are, rather average size, not too big, not too small. I could go comfortablly braless but had some cleavage when I wanted to. When I was pregnant, they got bigger and when I started breastfeeding they got really big and I started to understand the downside of large breasts. When I see my gloriously chubby daughter I am in awe of what my breasts have done. I pump breastmilk at work and there have been days when the output is much higher than others, I am tempted to take a picture, and post it with the caption “boo-ya!” I was so impressed with what they made. Breastfeeding has brought a new level of awareness and appreciation for them. So, yeah, I am pretty proud of my breasts.

  7. Rachel responded on 21 Dec 2011 at 12:48 pm #

    I love my big boobs, they’re probably my favorite part of my body. However, my skinny friends and I often have dialogues that go something like this:

    Them: I’m so jealous of your boobs! I have no boobs!
    Me: I’m so jealous that you’re skinny! You’re thin and hot and I’m a whale with nice boobs!

    I guess that’s why we’re calling this “little” victories, eh? One step at a time. . .

  8. Kimmy Sue Ruby Lou responded on 21 Dec 2011 at 12:56 pm #

    my breasts have changed so much over the years…from round and perky in my teens, huge in early motherhood, really huge when i gained a lot of weight when i quit smoking…now, they’re just interesting to me…i don’t hate them, and i like the “lanky” effect their new “smallness” gives me…i’m a denim girl, and i’m digging the way they look in a tight, funky tie-dyed shirt…tucked into my jeans…with a long denim jacket wrapping up the package i have become in my late 40′s…i have to say that my new breasts make me feel more girlish than my big ol’ titties ever did :)

  9. Aurora responded on 21 Dec 2011 at 1:03 pm #

    I think my boobs are just right. I’m a 36-C, meaning I have enough mass and perk to feel like I have a nice prominent chest, but at the same time they aren’t so big that they jiggle around when I exercise and hurt a lot. They clearly exist but they don’t make cleavage, and while my friends with bigger boobs and big cleavage get lots more gawking (C is on the big side of average, I’d say, so it’s not nearly as WHOA), I like having a balance. I can wear both low-cut blouses and button-down shirts without either of them looking flat or overstretched. They’re soft and nice, but they cut a great figure in a classy shirt. So I’m with you — I like my boobs!

    (On the subject of nipples, I’ve never liked drawing them for some reason. In general, they look kind of weird to me. Not sure why.)

  10. kari responded on 21 Dec 2011 at 1:14 pm #

    this is an interesting post because it made me realize that i really don’t put much thought into my breasts. i’ve always felt like they were pretty average-sized, although i do remember my small-chested track teammates in high school commenting on how huge mine were. i think they just grew pretty steadily throughout my adolescence until they stopped at a pretty average size. i do think probably too much about a lot of parts of my body, like my big calves and thighs and my less-firm-than-it-once-was stomach, but i honestly hadn’t even realized that i’m just always pretty much good with my breasts. mine are the sort that vary in size on a pretty regular basis, but i almost like it. i like the way they hurt sometimes to remind me where i’m at in my cycle, it’s interesting that sometimes my bras fit differently, and i like the potential of these weird body parts as a food source for a baby. i mean, that is pretty weird. but also pretty cool. but all this to say that i was just surprised to realize upon reading this that i hadn’t even really appreciated the fact that i look in the mirror and generally just think “yep, those look right” when i look at my breasts. and i do think that’s a little victory of acceptance.

  11. Kate responded on 21 Dec 2011 at 1:23 pm #

    @Kari
    I love it when I notice that I don’t really think about a certain part of my body. It’s just there, and it’s fine, and that’s it.

  12. Kate responded on 21 Dec 2011 at 1:23 pm #

    @Rachel
    Exactly

  13. Melanie responded on 21 Dec 2011 at 1:24 pm #

    First off, I adore that you can pull of such short hair. You are such a beautiful lady.

    Second, I too have small breasts, and I am a larger gal. I wear a size 18 pants, 16 dresses, and 12/14 tops. I have always had a B cup. I weighed 110 and had a 34B. I weigh 215 and wear a 38B. I had always thought I wanted a boob job so that my breasts would balance with my hips. Then I decided to love my boobs and you know what? IT WORKED! I love them, and my boyfriend loves them. They are perky and pretty. Now, if I just didn’t have to pluck those annoying rogue hairs out of the nipples, they’d be perfect. Thanks for sharing this great blog post. All breasts are fantastic. Saggy, huge, perky, silver dollar nipples, tiny nipples…they’re just a nice thing to have. I wish more women appreciated their “not so societally perfect” breasts. Really, their bodies in general.

    And I keep meaning to send a pic of me eating cake. That’s my goal in the next month. I’m gonna do it by gosh!

  14. Raven responded on 21 Dec 2011 at 1:25 pm #

    I have the big breasts. The “huge tracks of land.” Sure, I miss being able to lay on my stomach or do an inverted yoga pose without strangling. I wish I could tape them down sometimes and pass as a boy (I wasn’t a convincing Frank N. Furter in high school, when I was choreographing RHPS dances), which would allow me to better express my gender fluid nature, and feel more comfortable when approaching women romantically (now there’s an issue I need to work on!).

    But most days, I do just look down, see them there, and shout, “hell yes!” Can’t help but flaunt them sometimes (corsets, supportive bras, and soft or silky fabrics are a blessing). My partner finds it amusing when I grab them and say, “Look! I have breasts!” And like you, I think nipples are much more interesting than the whole breast a lot of the time. I had a girlfriend with nipples, a pair of little raspberries on small breasts, and I loved them. I had a girlfriend with pierced nipples and a boyfriend with little brown ones that tightened when excited. I like all breasts, and don’t understand the obsession with them having to be big . . . of course, I don’t mind exploiting said obsession to my advantage when I go out with mine, especially when they get me free dolmades at the local gyros shop. ^_^

  15. Kate responded on 21 Dec 2011 at 1:54 pm #

    @Melanie
    I want that pic.
    :-)

  16. Jo responded on 21 Dec 2011 at 2:05 pm #

    I am pretty happy with my breasts, until I have to go bra shopping. It is IMPOSSIBLE to find bras that fit me. Its not even my breasts’ fault, I just have crazy ribs. My breasts keep quietly growing (seriously quietly, no one believes me when I say I’m an E cup) but according to numerous sales ladies my ribs are now 28inch. I used to wear 32 inch bras, so I find the concept of shrinking ribs somewhat baffling. Still, other than having to shell out semi-frequently on expensive bras (the cheaper lines never have my size) I like them.

  17. Kate responded on 21 Dec 2011 at 2:06 pm #

    @Jo
    Yeah, it’s always the bra shopping that gets me down. If I could somehow never buy another bra…

  18. tirzahrene responded on 21 Dec 2011 at 2:22 pm #

    Ditto. Love the breasts, hate the bra shopping. I can try on 20 bras and find three that fit right.

    I have friends who aren’t happy with the (small) size of their breasts and their way of dealing with that seems to be to constantly talk about it, in mixed company, which makes me wildly uncomfortable and embarrassed on their behalf. And sad.

  19. Liz responded on 21 Dec 2011 at 2:28 pm #

    What I find so incredibly fascinating is not so much the size, but the shape of breasts! There are so many varieties! I also love the sense of connection that I feel when I look at my boobs, cause they are the same shape as my mother’s.
    I’m slowly learning to love my breasts… I would say they are on the smaller end of average (A cup, but up to a hefty B during my cycle), but since I am a long and lean person, they look about right.
    I will admit to boob envy. All. The. Time. I’m just so jealous of big tata women! No matter how many times my husband tells me that he loves my breasts, I still feel inadequate/not beautiful enough by societal standards.

  20. Another Melanie responded on 21 Dec 2011 at 2:30 pm #

    I’m in the small breast camp (34A here) and, while I’ve never actively HATED them, I don’t always love them.

    I like that they don’t pain me when I work out. I like that I can run to the store in a sweatshirt and no bra and no one’s the wiser. I like that they’re perky and I do think that they’re aesthetically pleasing in general. Also, the husband seems to enjoy them, so there’s that.

    I dislike that I can’t wear wrap tops or tailored button-down shirts (without further tailoring, which I am too cheap and lazy to bother with…) because the, uh, breast nooks are too big. Low-cut tops also don’t seem to read as overtly sexy with less-ample bosoms, although, some days, my subtle curves look perfectly awesome to me. :)

    So, I always accept them, usually like them, and sometimes love them. Good things in small packages, etc.

    Unroast: Today I love the way they look in a turtleneck sweater.

  21. Herb responded on 21 Dec 2011 at 2:39 pm #

    From a man’s standpoint, great subject Kate.

    Just about every woman I have been intimate with, or good friends with, that had small breasts was conflicted about it. Sometimes, downright miserable about it. Thinking they were not feminine enough, or sexy enough.

    From a breast lover’s standpoint, as I got older and got past the size issue, I realized. It doesn’t matter.

    To me, a person is a total package. Not broken down into body parts. Although at times, when I’m just being a total dog in my mind, I’ll admit, I might think……((hmmm, who had the nicest ass, who had the best this, who had the hottest that…)) on and on like that. Lists. But back to reality, that’s all bullshit. Just fun stuff to fantasize about. Hey why not. I have a vivid memory.

    The real deal is that people really are total packages, and if you love someone, the perceived imperfections shouldn’t mean much, if anything.

    I have never looked at a woman that I really liked or loved and thought to myself that I wished her breasts were bigger. And I do like big breasts, but it’s just not that damned important.

    I was in a relationship with a woman who had small breasts. They were very sensitive and pretty, but she really didn’t the way they looked. Talked about getting a boob job, but I knew she never would. I liked them just the way they were. When she would complain, I would tell her. “Honey. I love your breasts. I have been with woman who had bigger breasts, that were really boring in bed.” She was anything but boring in bed, and she understood what I meant, but it was all about the way she percieved herself, her body, and I knew that. I could only hope some of what I was saying would make her feel better.

    One more thought about small breasts, that I believe many women don’t seem to know. Tons of guys love small breasts. Don’t believe it? Just look at how many websites are devoted to that.

    Now, my high school sweetheart had fairly large, pendulous boobs. Very large areolae. I adored her, and her boobs. She didn’t like them. We didn’t talk about it much back then, but we’ve kept in touch, and don’t really hold anything back when we talk. She still doesn’t like them, and thinks they are, and always have been “saggy”. I tell her. “They are not saggy, they are ‘pendulous’. It’s just how they are made. Always have been, they were like that when you were 17 years old and in great shape”. Doesn’t help. I think her mean sister made fun of them, when the two of them were were young.

    My no brainer conclusion is that most women want perfect breasts. Perfect, perky, and stand up and out nicely, even without a bra, no matter what size they are. In reality we all have the cards we are dealt in terms of our bodies, our looks. I really admire women who’s breasts, and bodies for that matter, don’t conform to today’s ridiculous beauty ‘standards’, but still they are happy being who they are, how they look, and are turned on by it. I think it usually means they have inner beauty, strength and confidence.

    Herb

  22. melissa responded on 21 Dec 2011 at 3:24 pm #

    I liked having small breasts. But then again, I had smaller everything else so maybe what I really miss is the whole package.

    Now that they’re bigger, I actually find them to be in the way sometimes. They hurt more, now. I have to wear a bra if I want to do an exercise.

    Otherwise, I pretty much never think about them, large or small.

    When I was in high school and had small breasts, I remember trying on a nice button-up blouse in a clothing store. It was a bit too loose in the front and the shoulders were so tight I couldn’t move my arms.

    Imagine my horror when I tried on a medium and a large only to discover that they only got bigger in the front! I remember getting mad and exclaiming “Do they think girls only get bigger in the boobs or something???”

    /end pointless boob story

  23. Anna responded on 21 Dec 2011 at 3:52 pm #

    I have relatively large boobs (I’ve been a 34 DD since I was 11) but for some reason, I catch myself thinking ‘they could be bigger’ even though I have a friend who calls me GB (short for gigantic boobs) and it’s difficult for me to find clothes (I’m a small and have to buy XLs if I want to have enough space for my chest to be comfortable). I often think there’s something wrong with me.

    Also, when you talked about the necklace with a cool story; I have one of those. My favorite necklace (literally have taken it off twice since I got it three years ago) was a gift to me from my mom the day one of my friends got admitted to the hospital for a suicide attempt. She knew I loved it and saw how upset I was and she just went out and bought it to cheer me up. It has lyrics from one of my favorite songs engraved on it. It may be some cheap, dinky brass locket, but it means a lot to me to know she was thinking of me when I was down.

  24. Size is deceptive responded on 21 Dec 2011 at 3:57 pm #

    For the most part I am quite happy with my breasts. They are fairly well-rounded and small but big enough to be perceived. Not much in the way of cleavage, but I actually like that because I can wear lower cut things without looking quite as overtly sexy. I wouldn’t mind them being slightly bigger, but really I’m quite content with the size they are. Except for one thing….

    One of my biggest pet peeves is when big-breasted girls begin ranting about the difficulties of their large breasts. Now, I am sure large breasts come with a slew of annoyances, as I have been told as much by every large-breasted girl I know. However, they inevitably say at some point that it is incredibly difficult to find bras that fit. They then turn to me and say, “See, you can probably just walk right in to any store and find a bra that fits.”

    No, large-breasted girl. No, I cannot. At all. Ever.

    You see, I am a rare size: 30 D. No one ever believes me when I tell them that. They all think D cup must mean humongous. I understand. I was pretty astonished too when the measuring lady told me at 14 that although I’d been trying to buy 32 As for the last couple of years, I was actually a 30 D who could possibly also wear 32 Cs. That can’t be right, I thought. Not my small boobs. But she brought me a 32 C to try on and lo! It fit! I went to a different store and tried a 30 D and it fit too! The best fit I’d ever found! And the cups WEREN’T huge, but they were indeed Ds. So deceptive. Rib size really does make a big difference. In fact, it makes all the difference. Few stores have much in the way of 30 inch bands, and if they do they’re usually not in the D size. It’s incredibly difficult to find 30 D bras.

    Now, I actually have remeasured myself recently and I came up with more of a 30 B. But my 30 D bras still fit marvelously, and the B cup ones I try on at stores are never quite right (plus you still can’t find even THOSE in 30 inch bands anyway). And so I continue on, baffled by the deceptive nature of bra sizes and irritated by large-breasted girls insistence that with my smaller breasts I can easily find bras anywhere.

  25. Hannah responded on 21 Dec 2011 at 4:31 pm #

    I have small breasts, and while I hated them in high school, I’ve gradually become more comfortable with them. I have a lot of friends with really large breasts who seem to think I always need comforting about them, and used to randomly tell me that mine weren’t “that small” or that they were bigger than X’s. However, since I’m a 32A, mine are, indeed, somewhat small. Although I’m quite thin, so they balance nicely. I recently had a friend tell me to never let anyone tell me mean things about my boobs, because they were nice, and I guess he had an old gf who was my size and hated them. But I like them now.
    What I do hate is women complaining about big boobs and then telling me I’m so lucky to have small breasts, in kind of a back handed way. But as my friends get more comfortable with themselves, that happens less. All breasts are beautiful and surprisingly different, no matter the size. Which is kind of cool.

  26. lik_11 responded on 21 Dec 2011 at 4:43 pm #

    First off- I’ll say that I love my big boobs. BUT- I can’t go anywhere without a bra- ever! I hate, hate, hate running, because even after strapping them down- they can hit me in the face. Dresses fit me everywhere, but I can’t zip them up past my mid-back, so I usually have to go up a size. My boobs hang much lower than they should. Big boobs distort the figure to make women look fatter. Last, I can make a “normal” shirt look vulgar- which sometimes I really enjoy. ;)

  27. Jessica responded on 21 Dec 2011 at 5:10 pm #

    Great post – and pretty much how I feel too! I had some issues with my small breasts as a teenager, but only because a “friend” kept pointing out to me how small they were. Now I realize she was just trying to make herself feel better, as she was quite large in general. Funny how it’s the women you have to look out for on this – every man I’ve been with have loved them. I haven’t worn a bra in several years now and it’s awesome.

  28. Mara responded on 21 Dec 2011 at 5:12 pm #

    I like my boobs. They’re D’s. That’s nice.
    I can’t wear hand-me-downs though.
    I really do like my boobs. I do look down and shout, “Hell yes!” because I honestly think they’re perfect. They just look nice, all the time. :)

  29. Frances responded on 21 Dec 2011 at 5:28 pm #

    I like that girls have so much to say about boobs. (Hah, it IS fun to say on the internet.)

    My friends used to call me Buns, because I am well-endowed, because I like to cook. I used to hate being singled out, thinking it was like being called fat.

    Now I make cake for a living and wear a shapeless chef jacket. The breasts just aren’t such a deal anymore. Nor is being fat or not fat. It just is.

    Happy Friday!

  30. Rebecca responded on 21 Dec 2011 at 6:15 pm #

    @Size is deceptive: OMG!!! I’m a 30DD! Sometimes it’s fun to say that I’m a DD, but really? My tits are average in size–it’s just a drastic contrast between my ribcage and the apex of my breasts.

    Getting fitted for a good bra changes everything, it truly does. I’m still all about the cheapo cleavage fluffers for fun, but so grateful that I have good bras that don’t ride up in the back, and that make me look…neat.

    I like that.

    Neat boobs. :)

  31. lynellekw responded on 21 Dec 2011 at 6:32 pm #

    I’d have smaller ones if I could. But they don’t change much – I have to be seriously underweight before I go down much a cup size. I hate not being able to wear anything that buttons up, I hate bra shopping (although in the UK there’s a shop called Bravissimo which is PARADISE for bra shopping, and also for clothes made to fit well over big boobs). I wear a 32FF (roughly equivalent to a 32DDD in US sizes, I think) – finding bras that provide adequate support without hurting somewhere is damn hard outside Bravissimo, and finding anything that doesn’t look like it was built for industrial use is more or less impossible. So I don’t even look at bras elsewhere now.

  32. Sooz responded on 21 Dec 2011 at 7:16 pm #

    I am awed by the weirdness of my boobs. They are medium sized. But they aren’t…full. They sort of droop and the nipples point down. They’re like half way deflated sandwich baggies that used to be full of air. Does that make sense? Anyway…Now they are even more deflated b/c I’ve had 4 kids and nursed them all. They don’t fit nicely into any bras. Plus I hate padding, wiring, or anything too tight or squishy when it comes to bras. Sometimes I even wish the girls (that’s what I call my boobs sometimes) were just a wee bit smaller and more upright. Perky….that’s the word! I wish my boobs were smaller and perky. But mostly…I just can’t get over how weird my boobs are…right now….in real life. :)

  33. Tara responded on 21 Dec 2011 at 9:04 pm #

    36D here. And I hate them. They’re proportionate to my body (I’m 5’10″), but I still hate them. Sorry for being that girl. Finding button down shirts that don’t fit like a sack is impossible. They don’t hurt when I work out, but the surrounding skin chafes terribly from the uber-supportive sports bras. I’m pretty sure the next man who sees them will be more concerned about the red marks than noticing their size and shape.

  34. Abby responded on 21 Dec 2011 at 9:20 pm #

    Oh, boobs…yeah, that is fun to say.

    I’ve always had big boobs, though for the first few years of having them I hated them. My sister would make fun of me for having them and tell me how horrible they would look when I was old. I don’t think she meant it maliciously…but I’ve always wished my boobs were more “perky.” Because my boobs just always feel…saggy and weird.

    I’m a 42 DD, and I don’t think that’s going to change any time soon. It can be difficult to find bras my size, and sometimes finding shirts that are big enough for my breasts and still fit the rest of my body can be difficult. Not to mention exercising can be a pain–I’m learning capoeira and my friend figured out that I actually have trouble doing one of the moves because my boobs get in the way! But finally, as a college freshman, I think I’m getting used to them. Getting an actual bra fitting and good quality bras REAAALLY helped though!

    Looking at all these comments makes me feel more determined to love my boobs, though. Because it seems like everyone–small boobs, big boobs, everywhere in between–feels insecure sometimes. So the next time I find myself being jealous of someone with bigger boobs (yeah, I do that) or smaller, perkier boobs, I will try to remind myself just to look down and shout “HELL YEAH!” (regardless of the strange looks people will give me).

  35. Kayla responded on 21 Dec 2011 at 10:22 pm #

    I definitely used to be much more upset about how little my breasts are. and while I haven’t come to love mine as much as you love yours, I’m definitely more at peace with it. In the grand scheme of things, it’s just such a little issue. and I have indeed found a man that loves me and finds me beautiful despite my breast size, so I guess it all worked out. :)

  36. Kristine responded on 22 Dec 2011 at 12:03 am #

    I like my boobs for the most part. They’re perky and an inbetween size so I can look like I have small boobs or pretty big boobs depending on what I wear. I appreciate them now, I always liked the way As looked and wanted that for awhile, but when I lost weight and my cup size went down I realized I didn’t feel like myself anymore. Now that they are back, I’m happy to have them.

    The only pain in the ass part is finding bras. I’m a 28C and it’s really hard to find the right bra (that I can afford anyway). Size really is deceptive, I think a lot of people think a C is really big, but it only is if the width is larger.

  37. Val responded on 22 Dec 2011 at 1:27 am #

    I never thought about them or noticed them–for years. If they were big or small, I don’t remember.

    Probably small, looking back.

    Then I had a baby and decided to try nursing her. She took to it, no problem. And then I had a few more babies and so there was one baby or another, and maybe a toddler too, tucked in my shirt for like 20 some years.

    Now my baby is 7, and hasn’t nursed in about 5 years.

    You’d think I could tuck my boobs into my socks after all that. No. They’re fine. Normal. That’s the restorative power of estrogen.

    We expect a lot of these girls. So many expectations, so much pressure.

    And yet a bosom is all about abundance and goodness, rest and comfort. It’s all good.

    love, Val

  38. Claire Allison responded on 22 Dec 2011 at 1:47 am #

    I don’t think I was ever too serious about disliking my boobs. I mean, I went through a phase where I was really curious what I’d look like with bigger ones, but mostly I’m very fond of them. They’re one of my best assets. I think if a saleswoman ever told me they were too small like yours did during dress shopping I’d tell her to take it back before I walked out and never shopped there again.

    One of my friends has Christina Hendricks boobs and they just make me curious. Once we got drunk and I had to ask her if I could feel them, to which she replied “yeah, everyone eventually wants to, go ahead” and then I did. And they were awesome. Just as awesome as mine, but different, you know?

  39. Diana responded on 22 Dec 2011 at 4:50 am #

    I started out with small 32A speed-bumps. In college, 34B’s. And now after two babies, 36DD. I feel like I’ve been every shape, every size. When I was smaller, I wanted to be bigger. Now that I’m bigger, I want to be smaller, since smaller would mean I was healthier.

    Five years of daily breast-feedings have left them less firm and perky then they used to be, but I console myself by saying, “They did their duty; my kids are healthy and super-smart!”

    I’ll end with a nipple story. During my very first OB appointment in high school, the doctor said,”OMG, those are the Biggest Nipples I Have Ever Seen!” How does one respond to something like that? I thought everyone struggled with “headlights” year-around.

  40. Emmi responded on 22 Dec 2011 at 11:05 am #

    I’m a big gal with big boobs. 42G is what my most comfortable bra says on the tag. Hilarity – I had a spinal fusion in my teens due to scoliosis, and now having a partially titanium spine means no back pain from the enormous boobs. Silver lining!

    I am fine with the gals. I fondly call ‘em Godzilla and Rodan. My husband likes them fine and I’d rather be on this end of not-proportionate than the other.

  41. San D responded on 22 Dec 2011 at 11:08 am #

    As someone, who this morning at 7:45 went in to get a second look mamogram and sonogram, and is feeling incredibly tender, but relieved because everything came out ok, I am extremely happy to HAVE boobs.

  42. zoe (and the beatles) responded on 22 Dec 2011 at 12:36 pm #

    funny, i just wrote up something similar about boobs! mainly how big mine are, how big they always have been, and how much fun i am having with cleavage. still, there are days when i’ll try on a shirt and only parts of shirt fit but if i go up a size nothing but the chest will fit. on those days i just think, “damn, be fucking smaller already.”

  43. Mandy responded on 22 Dec 2011 at 3:16 pm #

    Emmi@
    Your comment made me laugh! At a renaissance festival I met a woman (or rather I should say wench–she was in garb) who had nick-named her breasts “Thunder” and “Lightning!”

  44. Mandy responded on 22 Dec 2011 at 3:19 pm #

    San D@
    I hear you. Last year I had to have a biopsy, which scared me worse than just about any health issue I’ve ever had. Fortunately, it turned out that I just have fibrous, cystic breasts.

  45. Mandy responded on 22 Dec 2011 at 3:30 pm #

    I love my breasts. Always have. I love the size, the shape, the heft–everything except the fact that I have to wear a bra if I want to go out in public, or have company at home.
    I’m in my forties, so they’re not as perky as they used to be, but I think they still look fabulous.

    My only peeve is that the really cute bras only seem to come in 32A-38C. Anything larger or smaller, and you’re stuck with the very utilitarian-looking bras. I’m constantly looking for the bras that provide actual support, won’t cut into my shoulders, and are actually sexy-looking. Haven’t found any yet–at least not in any reasonable price range and accessability.
    Which is annoying–I’d really like to dress the girls up pretty!

  46. Kay responded on 23 Dec 2011 at 12:22 am #

    @ size is deceptive
    I wear a 30D too!! I buy my bras online. lol.

  47. Dot responded on 23 Dec 2011 at 11:44 am #

    I am one of those massive-breasted gals, but my ribcage is a perfectly normal size. I think my official measurement is somewhere around 30I or 30HH. Obviously, I’ve had to deal with plenty of inconveniences over the years (no good bras/sports bras, hard to fit in clothes, looking overly sexualized no matter what I wore, back pain, stinky boob sweat, dropping food down there, guys who won’t look away, etc.) but I really do like them! Especially since I’ve found somewhere I can always get bras that fit and have moved on to a style of clothing that fits better.

    Despite their ridiculous largeosity, I feel that they’re very well integrated with my body. Everything about my body is highly exaggerated: huge boobs, tiny waist, very muscular ass and thighs, incredibly pale skin, very curly and attention-getting short hair. My whole body – and my personality, really – completely lacks subtlety. My breasts are just of a piece with all that.

    Re: nipples, mine crack me up because they’re super pale, just like the rest of me, so it’s impossibly to tell where they start and end. I just have pale, pendulous breasts that eventually end in nipples about the same color as the rest of me.

  48. Orual responded on 23 Dec 2011 at 10:24 pm #

    I have breasts so large that once I was reaching to turn off the stove and burnt my breast badly on the stock pot on the stove. Now I have a scar an inch and a half long across my left breast. Odd as it may be though, I am quite fond of this scar. It is… Interesting. I am quite fond of my breasts as a whole as well. At times I feel that I shouldn’t like them quite so much. But I do.

  49. Sari responded on 25 Dec 2011 at 12:27 am #

    When I was a serious ballet dancer, these ladies managed to stay kinda small. I mean… “kinda”. They were big for the ideal ballet body, but in general? That said, I would look at my mom and just hold my breath knowing that at some point, well, they’d grow.

    I stopped dancing hardcore. They grew. I think I look balanced, but I definitely feel it whenever I try to do something dance-ish. My center of balance? Who knows where the hell it went… it moved somewhere between my boobs growing and my hips widening and… yeah.

    The funny thing is, I don’t think they look so huge! They only become objectively “big” when one hears that my band size is around a 30. I measure a 30E. Sometimes 28EE. Sometimes 30EE. 30F.

    It’s really fun to find comfortable bras that fit and that are “affordable”. I don’t really love underwire, but I’ve had to settle for now. Funny story: I DID find the most comfortable bras of my life a few years ago when I insisted on no underwire. I had to size up a bit because they didn’t make my band size (34 with the appropriate cup size). I went home and did a search to see if I could find them cheaper… what I found was a site for mastectomy bras. Yup. Comfortable, great support, no underwire… word to the wise! :)

  50. Ashley responded on 26 Dec 2011 at 5:22 pm #

    Hey there! I just wanted to let you know that I nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award, congrats! Check this entry for details: http://loveashley.net/2011/12/26/i-would-like-to-thank-the-blogging-academy/

    Hope you are having a happy holiday!

  51. Kid Cudi "No One Believes Me" (Official Video) | Video Story responded on 28 Dec 2011 at 9:46 am #

    [...] TajSound Off with DJ TajMW3: PP90M1 MOAB FAIL! “My PP Let Me Down” (Gameplay/Commentary)Eat the Damn Cake function getTubePressBaseUrl(){return "http://videostory.tv/wp-content/plugins/tubepress";} [...]

  52. Eat the Damn Cake » little victories: schlumpy phase responded on 29 Dec 2011 at 12:52 am #

    [...] This is my series called Little Victories. In it, I talk about what’s going right for me, in terms of how I’m feeling about the way I look, and the world, in general (maybe. I haven’t gotten that far yet). The entry before this one was called “my breasts.”  [...]

  53. Eat the Damn Cake » little victories: BOMBSHELL!! responded on 23 Jan 2012 at 2:22 am #

    [...] news is, there’s a chance I’m curvy now! At least a little. I think I might be. Even my boobs are contributing, in the gradual, half-hearted manner in which I used to do my laundry after my mom reminded me ten [...]

  54. Cammy responded on 30 Jan 2012 at 6:45 pm #

    I’m over a month late to this post, but I just discovered your blog, found that I really love your writing, and have been reading a bunch of back-posts. I guess I am officially de-lurked now.

    I just wanted to chime in with small breast pride. I have never even been a B-cup, but I actually love my breasts. Not to say that I’ve never had breast envy, but when it comes to living with my breasts day to day, I’m happy with what I’ve got. I like that they are perky, being in a state of diminutiveness beyond the grasp of gravity. I was glad you specifically pointed out that nipples are pretty, because I’ve always been rather fond of mine. My boyfriend has assured me that the stereotype that all men think “the bigger the better” when it comes to chest size is not at all true, and that he thinks mine are perfect. And I actually think he’s telling the truth.

    I love this post, and your blog in general. Your writing is fantastic and I think you do a perfect job of sending a body acceptance message without making it patronizing.

  55. Eat the Damn Cake » Little Victories: asking for a raise responded on 31 Jan 2012 at 12:52 am #

    [...] Past Little Victories series posts: being schlumpy, my breasts [...]

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  57. Angela responded on 28 Mar 2012 at 3:59 pm #

    I suppose I have large breasts. Double D’s. But they aren’t that exciting. They fit my body nicely, I am an hourglass with a bit bigger hips and butt than boobs. They don’t look that big on my frame.. They are a bit saggy/low nipples run in my family. That makes me mad. And to get *real* cleavage, i gotta wear a corset, they don’t naturally have that look. It’s so interesting how subjective the letter number bra size is. And just how different boobs can be.

  58. Jenn responded on 18 May 2012 at 4:02 am #

    OHMYGOODNESS I thought I had cancer, too! How was I so resigned to that fact at 11?!

  59. Abie responded on 07 Sep 2012 at 2:11 pm #

    “Back to boobs: When I first started developing them, I thought I had cancer”

    Holy crap… +1
    They were so solid and painful to the touch! I remember sitting on my bunkbed in summer camp, thinking : “Well, it’s settled, then. I don’t have much time left, might as well make the most of it”, and going out to play.

  60. carnation responded on 04 Nov 2012 at 1:30 pm #

    I know this is an old post, but I felt compelled to respond from the more voluptuous side. Every feeling of inadequacy and ugliness and failed femininity that small breasts can bring on in a girl or woman can be felt with large breasts as well. At no point after puberty has my bust measurement been under 40 inches. Think about that for a moment. That’s plus-sized, no matter what. Sure, I could sometimes squeeze myself into a medium or large button-down, sometimes wear a size 10 or 12 dress, but they never fit right. They never looked good. My breasts pushed me out of standard sizing when I was still a slender teenager. There was always the connotation of heaviness, fatness, just because of my breasts. My waist measurement has always been small, pretty firmly not plus-sized. Sometimes as small as a size 0, even. Size 0 waist and size 16 bust. Or size 4 waist and size 16 bust. Even now that I am “fat”, it is something like a size 10 waist and a size 16 bust on my 5’10″ frame. I’m not trying to wail that my diamond shoes are too tight. It’s true that men have always responded to my figure. It’s true that I’ve always had attention. But it’s also true that I’ve never felt my breasts were pretty. They’ve never been firm enough. They’ve never had small, delicate aureoles. They’ve never allowed me to wear dainty button-down tops, flimsy camisoles, lovely embellished bras, feminine summer dresses. Everything has too be too big or too tight or custom-fitted. I have to scrutinize every little thing I wear. At work, I’ve been scolded for being bosomy while no cleavage at all was showing. I’ve had men hang all over me and stare at me and make perverted comments and once a friend’s boyfriend pinned me to the floor so he could pull down my top and kiss my breasts.

    And I have these very feminine and attractive female friends with small breasts. They can wear dainty clothes. They can show off their breasts in revealing tops without looking low-class. Men can be friends with them without getting distracted and embarrassed by their figures. They can do yoga without tits constantly in the way. I do karate, and my bust has made many of the strikes and blocks more difficult for me to perform. They are in the way. My body is marked as reproductive, sexual. Men look at me and say I’m sexy but definitely not athletic. Who could be? I would trade places with any of my less-endowed friends in an instant because the benefit of bountiful, distracting cleavage doesn’t do much for one outside of a bar or a beach setting.

    I know women with smaller breasts can feel as if they are overlooked by men at times, but, the thing is, very few men NEED large breasts to be present to feel attraction. I’ve known several men who were quite obviously breast men. They couldn’t stop looking or giving overlong hugs or whatever. Even they married small-breasted women because breasts are only one element of attraction. I’ve had men tell me that all men love large breasts, but these same men do not require them in their sex lives. They don’t seek out large breasts over other attributes. And even the men I’ve dated haven’t selected me because of my breasts. They’ve been attracted to my eyes, my lips, my coloring, my ass, my waist, my legs, my wit, my intelligence, my shyness, the way I dress, the way I write, the way I think. It’s never just one thing with a quality guy. Never.

    I’ve just turned 36, by the way, and body acceptance does gradually come. As a hyper-hourglass teenager, I thought I was deformed. No one else looked like me. My friends had small and pretty breasts. Mine were big and gross. Now, hell, I can take myself as I am. My breasts are full and pale and soft. They are not super-firm, but they aren’t sagging to the floor either. My aureoles are still bigger than I like, and my nipples are still distressingly tiny, but I managed to nurse a child. They’ve served some purpose beyond the sexual. I don’t intend to get reduction surgery, as I don’t think it is right that I should have to carve up my body only to fit into mass-produced sizes. I’ve found ways to mail order bras from the UK so that I can wear something beyond the beige grandma model. I’ve found a few clothing manufacturers that cut to a more hourglass frame. I’ve learned how to wear clothes that flatter. And I’ve realized that my full breasts balance my full hips, giving me a figure that was once idealized and that men will always instinctively respond to. I now take the good with the bad. That doesn’t mean I will ever be quite proud of my breasts. That doesn’t mean I will ever not feel wistful when I see a pretty, tiny-bosomed dress in Anthropologie. It doesn’t mean I will never feel a twinge of jealousy when one of my friends goes blithely braless. It doesn’t mean I won’t resent small-breasted yoga instructors who just assume my body can do what theirs can. It doesn’t mean I will stop scrutinizing, asking myself if I look trashy. But I no longer think I am deformed. That’s something, right?

    Sorry this is such a ramble, but I wanted to let you know there is plenty of angst on the other side of it.