I recently went so far as to remove my contraception and try for a third but after 3 months of trying I completely panicked at the thought of having another baby, no future career and less time for myself and got the contraception fitted again.

For some ridiculously silly reason, I’ve always hated the idea of the perfect family of four, but now that I have it, it’s not that bad!

Oh and as much as I love my own kids, I still don’t much like other people’s children either.

I’m 38 years old now and my biological clock has kicked in. Or at least something has kicked in. It’s not so much that I want to have children, I just don’t want to NOT have them anymore. All of a sudden (well, the last 6 months) I am doubting myself. And it is consuming my mind. And I mean consuming. I’m not comfortable with this doubt, nor am I comfortable with either having children or not having them. I just want someone to tell me what to do, but of course this is a decision that me and hubby make. He’s almost feels exactly the same way as me – but hasn’t got the same doubt. He seems much more comfortable than me with the idea of not having them.

I’m running out of time….. it’s just all of a sudden it feels like there should be more than just myself and my husband sharing our little world, it feels like there should be more people in it. It’s a strange feeling.

I too think of all the sacrifices and courage the generations of women before me had to have to make so that I could have the opportunities that I do today. And I have tried to take hold of those opportunities as best I can in this life so far. Maybe it won’t be the same for me as the generations before – I know a lot of them had a hard time having children because they never felt like they had a choice. But if it’s something I choose, and do it knowing that I don’t have to, that I can choose other things instead, maybe that will make all the difference.

I don’t want to be an older mother – so it feels like now or never. I’m kidding myself though, I will always be an older mother at this stage. I’m finally doing a university degree that I always wanted to do, and there’s a couple of other things I still wanted to do too.

Hmmmm, so much to weigh up when this decision is not really about me, but about someone else who isn’t even here yet….

I’m afraid of regret.

I never imagined having children… I never imagined getting married… I never imagined life beyond 18.

I’m 34 and have been married for 5 years. My hubby will be 39 in a month. It’s decision time.. and I’m leaning towards do it.

Someone way up the page wrote, “Pregnancy and the birth process while a big deal is just a small, small part of a much larger journey.”

I think I want the journey.

i am a neurotic, socially isolated, obsessive-compulsive, anxious, depressive product of sexual abuse that was partially my fault. just that i was able to list all of those things means that i’m too self-centered and wallowing in my own problems for children to be in the cards at all. my own mother is a selfish horror with many similar issues, and the last thing i want is to be that kind of parent. i don’t want to be responsible for another human being when taking basic care of myself is a herculean feat, and i don’t want to be the parent a child dreads coming home to after school like she was to me.

also, the idea of pregnancy and childbirth gives me (completely irrational, mind, as i’m a virgin) panic attacks. being around my boyfriend is enough to make me worry to death that i’m going to be the first person who ever got pregnant from poking bejeaned pelvises together in a hug. i hate the fear, but i would honestly rather die than carry a living being in me and expel it or have it cut out of my abdomen. i feel like most of the people i have known in my life don’t understand how i could think of something so “beautiful” or “natural” as completely monstrous. i have nightmares about it, where the baby didn’t even come from a man, it just happened and somehow it was all my doing.

fortunately, the internet has told me that i’m not broken for not wanting kids, and for some women it’s just not the right thing to do. don’t be afraid if a baby is really what you want, but don’t be afraid if you never want to have children. you’re not wrong.

-anonymous

I wanted to say that people don’t tend to regret things as much as they think they will. Women who don’t want kids are told all the time that one day it will be too late and then they will regret it, and I don’t think it’s true. Also, while people with kids say that they are happier because they have kids, when you try take more objective measures it actually looks like people without kids are generally happier and less stressed.

I’m not saying don’t have a kid. It’s just. . . it’s pretty normal (normal in the sense of “majority action” not “correct action”) to have kids and most people think it’s a great idea, and that makes me feel bad for the women who don’t think that they want kids who get kind of bullied by everyone else. If you are a women who wants a kid then, YAY, have one! But for the women here struggling because they’ve never wanted kids and now people are pressuring them: Don’t do it!