It’s not un-liberated to love clothing and makeup, to want to stay home with your kids. Those choices are just as valid as their counterparts. They’re not inherently weak, they’ve just been portrayed as such by a society that has valued masculinity over femininity. That’s my main critique of modern feminism: I think it stab itself in the back by promoting “masculine” pursuits as worthier.

That’s not what “modern feminism” is about. There’s nothing wrong with liking clothing and makeup, nothing wrong with being a mother.

The problem is when a) those things are required in order to be Femininity Compliant, and b) those things are socially devalued BECAUSE c) they’re socially defined AS WOMANLY.

Yes, the constant social pressure on women to look and behave a certain way is a patriarchy thing. It’s another form of busywork designed specifically to keep us from getting anything else accomplished. Things like getting the respect women deserve as human beings because we’re human beings, no matter what we look like or what we do.

IF we like makeup and clothes that doesn’t make us bad people. It’s not a virtue and not a vice. But it can also be another source of pressure and judgment because, again, it’s a sneaky way of pitting women against each other so we WON’T hang together on the important stuff.

Caring, and being aware of ourselves as physical bodies in the world, is important

Why? Just curious. Why is it important? To whom? In what sense?

I’m one of the uncaring. Not because I don’t care about people (I do), but because I don’t care about…nothing.

I bathe, I comb and style my hair, I brush my teeth, my clothes are clean and fit. Period. I only do that to avoid actively offending other people–so I don’t stink, so they don’t have to look at hanging boogers or things in my teeth when they look at me. The rest is…why? Why on earth would it matter?

I even get to have regular, joyful sex with my boyfriend. What do I care what a bunch of strangers think on first glance? When they’re no longer strangers they usually like me, whether I like them or not.

I guess I’m one of the ones that just doesn’t get it. Off to change the world. Don’t wait up.

I think it’s possible to have a balance. I think it’s possible when you have an understanding, acceptance, and respect for what your own personal body is capable of. And its limits. And I love your blog because it helps me to remember those things and to keep telling myself that I’m actually Awesome the way I am.

The Unroast idea is my favorite. Thank you.

Beauty, fashion, and gender *are* real, though. Traditionally female occupations and interests are considered lesser because of their association with femininity, not through any inherent frivolity. Makeup and clothes, objectively speaking, are art. So are quilts and tapestries, which have historically been considered craft, because “high” art was restricted to men. That doesn’t make them intrinsically less gorgeous.

I’m with you on wishing women’s issues weren’t so separate. I study Latin at university, and I’m pre-law. I also love clothing with an almost unhinged passion. It bothers me to hear people renounce fashion as “shallow” and “materialistic”, as though the exploration of color, texture, and shape weren’t art. I wish people weren’t so surprised that I can translate Ovid and also put together a kickass outfit. The women’s movement, while allowing women admirably greater access to traditionally masculine pursuits, has also put femininity, to some degree, on the back burner. It’s not un-liberated to love clothing and makeup, to want to stay home with your kids. Those choices are just as valid as their counterparts. They’re not inherently weak, they’ve just been portrayed as such by a society that has valued masculinity over femininity. That’s my main critique of modern feminism: I think it stab itself in the back by promoting “masculine” pursuits as worthier.

Btw, I laughed sooooooooooooooooo hard while reading this post. I’ve had a hard week and this was a good stress reliever.

Love your blog. Love this post. Love you. The End.

Do I ever wish I were ruder?

NO.

I am reading the new biography of Steve Jobs, who was clearly one of the most creative and rudest people in business. And I keep thinking that no matter how innovative or cool Apple products are, does reading about Jobs’ capacity to be rude, to bully, to insist, to get his way make me want to be more like that?

HELL NO.

It makes me realize that he was a dick. A creative, innovative dick.

And I don’t want to be anything like that.