If I were taller I wouldn’t mind.

I happen to be a VERY light-skinned biracial woman (black/white). I’ve been a size 00 at my smallest. I am now the heaviest I’ve ever been in my life, at a size 10-12.

When I was growing up, I was often criticized for being thin and having light skin. My cousin, who has been anywhere from a size 16 to a size 24, was considered the “pretty one” in our family.

When I was in school, boys generally preferred girls with big boobs/hips/butts. I had the hips and the butt even as a skinny girl, but no boobs to speak of.

It bothers me when I hear anyone attempting to speak for Black women on the whole, because all of our experiences and perceptions are different.

I have no desire to be fat. There, I said it. I’m only speaking for myself and my personal body image. I don’t want to be too thin, but I’m also heavier than I would like to be.

I believe that sometimes Black women who are heavy/thick/obese/overweight fall victim to stereotypes because of their size as well as their race.

I’ve noticed that on TV or in films, fat Black women are often stereotyped as loud and obnoxious or as the funny, sassy sidekick to white women. Kind of like the old “mammy” stereotype. No disrespect to anyone, but that isn’t who I want to be.

Shows like “Glee” demonstrate this perfectly. Amber Riley, the actress who plays Mercedes, is cute and she has a phenomenal voice. But she is still playing a stereotypical Black female character…the fat girl with attitude. The one who is friends with everybody but can’t find a boyfriend, while all the other (non-black) girls around her are dating.

I like Queen Latifah because she seems to be comfortable in her own skin. She sends a positive vibe. But M’onique? Not so much. There’s just something very off-putting about her. She just seems trashy to me. That’s just my opinion, though.

I know plenty of Black women who claim to love their bodies and that’s wonderful, but I know that gaining about 60 lbs. has not helped my self-esteem. It has also caused some new health issues. I have ovarian cysts, my right foot hurts constantly, and I’m always hot.

So as I said, it comes down to the individual and how she feels. But I will be working on losing the weight I’ve gained due to depression, illness, and poor lifestyle choices.

Also one thing that’s awfully clear in that article is that the writer is a hell of a lot older than I am. Maybe the pressures on her growing up were different from the pressures on me growing up. I was born in Africa (DRC) in 1976, and came to Canada when I was 1 1/2 and my mother has never done anything but urge me to be thin. She was urging me to be thin before I was ever a pound overweight (thanks, Mom).

This is all to say, there are a HUGE variety of experiences around weight had by black women and it chaps my ass when someone writes an op-ed that tries to conflate those into one experience.

Let me say this thought: People have no trouble insulting a thin woman. One of my friends told me her husband thought I looked terrible because I am too thin. Do you think I would tell her my husband thought she looked like a beached whale? I don’t think so. People just assume I have an eating disorder and I am trying to stay thin.

On the other hand, I have to say that when they call very fat women curvy that bothers me too. Curvy means curves..not lots of fat and it seems to be a way to get back at thin women. I know that a lot of thin women work it really hard. Some of us are just that way and we might like a few extra pounds but I suspect that we are a small group.

The pressure to look a certain way is mind boggling. Growing up I was tall and thin but I had scraggly hair, a big nose, deep set eyes and a big space between my teeth…I was plain ugly. I never had boyfriends which has affected my self esteem even now. It’s hard to shake that.

So it’s not just weight..it’s everything. Even thin women get the ugly blues from time to time.