Ultimately, I had to realize that it wasn’t the gender that I was really seeking, but the personality. I’m a low-key gal who prefers like-minded individuals who don’t freak out over minor details and know how to enjoy life’s real pleasures (video games, intellectual stoner films; that kinda thing). It just so happens that most of these ppl for me are guys.

The off-balance of it used to bug me, but now I’m just happy to have friends that I can chill with, no pressure either way.

(And if the guys do try to hit on me, I just increase my naivety attack to maximum levels. It is super effective! )

And, no, I don’t think men are evil. They are wonderful and can help women chill out. But there has to be an awareness that while we are all human, we are also different from each other.

Okay, okay. I’m done.

I really think that women, especially married/engaged women, need to be incredibly careful with guy friends. Odds are, if your husband is wary, you should be too. Men can pick up on certain vibes from other men that women don’t see. In my case, my fiance was right. And I didn’t listen. Bad things happened.

I don’t think every situation will end up like mine, but I will say, before it went horribly awry, I thought my situation was different too. I thought I could easily have a close guy friend in whom I confided about my emotions, thoughts, etc. Then, I found myself in the middle of an emotional affair. I realized that I need to save my emotions for female friends and my fiance.

Moral of the story: Mine was a worst-case scenario. But I think to have a close guy friend when you’re married means you always have to keep the worst-case scenario in mind to make sure you never get there. Does that make sense?

Does this mean I’ve cut all male friendships out of my life? No. But it does mean I am never alone with another male. I have to have strict rules because of what happened to me, but I think these rules are good to follow regardless.

In case you’re wondering, my fiance and I worked through it. We’re stronger now, and we’re still getting married—mostly because we believe in a God of forgiveness and redemption!

Thanks you are so sweet

So essentially, I can have guy friends or girl friends, but I suck at having both at the same time.

And on that note, to the trolls whose comments I will always delete: seriously, it’s wimpy when you don’t use your own email address. If you’re going to insult me, at least have the balls to do it with your contact info. I’m comfortable with being myself online, and I’m honest about who I am. Try that for a minute before you attack me.

But even better, just don’t do it. I will delete your comment, and you will still be a sad little person who feels the need to write random, anonymous insults under someone else’s work.