Kim eats a cupcake and talks about patience and love

The basics: I’m 46-years old and live in Hampton, VA.  That’s somewhere halfway between Virginia Beach and Williamsburg, in case you’ve never heard of Hampton, VA — NOT to be confused with “The Hamptons.”  I have two sons, both adults, one still living at home trying to figure out what he wants to do.  I raised them by myself.  It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but also the most rewarding with even more rewards on the horizon, I’m certain.

What are you awesome at? I’m currently in a WONDERFUL relationship.  It took me 43 years of living and numerous mistakes to find the perfect man for me.  I used to be awesome at making relationship mistakes.  Now I’m awesome at being patient.

It was a long road that I took to become awesome at being patient. When I was little, I was ignored by my dad.  He wanted a son, but instead he got me – a little girl who wanted to hang out with her dad.   He got his wish when my brother was born.  My relationship issues in life started when I was a young child desiring a relationship with a man who didn’t want one.

As I grew older, I was happy to be involved with whoever wanted to be with me for that reason only.  My own desires became cloudy behind the need to be loved by a man.

One day, it hit me.  I was about 32.  I had a dream in which I was little and my dad was walking out the door.  I rushed to grab his hand to go with him.  He tossed my hand down, looked down at me, and walked out the door, shutting the door behind him.  That dream changed my life.

Awesomeness in failed relationships turned into awesomeness in patience and calmness and the love of being by myself without needing a man.

By the way, my dad and I now have a wonderful relationship, and I have forgiven him.  Hey, he’s a human being who makes mistakes too.

And I will eat my favorite cake to celebrate my awesome patience.  My favorite cake is any cake that has a big glob of icing on it.

The margarita cupcake I’m eating in the photo does NOT have a big glob of frosting on it but it is still very good and very light.  The recipe is at the Betty Crocker website.  I made them for a Friday night game night with my boyfriend’s sister’s family.  Friday night game night ruins my carefully constructed diet every week, but it’s so worth it to be with loved ones and laughing and having fun.

Unroast:  I like the way my feet look.  They have tan lines from my favorite pair of sandals, but that’s kind of sexy.

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Wow. Thank you, Kim.

This is a part of my cake eaters series. If you have a cake pic and a story to tell, send them to kate@eatthedamncake.com.

5 Comments »

Kate on August 3rd 2012 in cake eaters

5 Responses to “Kim eats a cupcake and talks about patience and love”

  1. contrary kiwi responded on 03 Aug 2012 at 2:36 pm #

    That is an awesome story, Kim. Good on you for working out what was driving you into bad relationships and dealing with it. I’ve recognised mine, now to deal with it! I’m so glad you now have a good relationship with your father, too.

  2. Kelli responded on 03 Aug 2012 at 4:49 pm #

    What a lovely story about a woman’s journey to loving herself enough to eat the damn cake! You look very cute & happy, congratulations!

  3. Melanie responded on 03 Aug 2012 at 6:08 pm #

    I really liked this post. Thanks for sharing your story Kim. Adorable picture! I am 37 and I refuse to believe that I was meant to be alone forever, even though sometimes it feels that way.

    I recently forged a relationship with my mother whom I did not respect or love for many years. It was nice letting go of that. I’m glad you now have a good relationship with your father. That’s awesome.

  4. Megs responded on 03 Aug 2012 at 10:04 pm #

    Might be my favourite “…eats cake” guest post! Love the honesty of your journey, lovely!

  5. Mandy responded on 04 Aug 2012 at 12:50 pm #

    Kim
    This is most definitely my favorite “…eats cake” guest post.
    And, congratulations on resolving that HUGE life issue–it’s never easy dealing with something that got programmed into your brain and heart at such an early age.
    And, isn’t it amazing how much energy and time you have for just about everything once you get rid of that huge emotional ball and chain you’d been dragging around? Whew!
    Cheers, applause, and MUCH respect to you!

    I, too, am 46–and I also find my good eating intentions occasionally sabotaged by my love of good food. (BTW, that cupcake looks yummy!)
    And, may I say that’s an excellent picture of you!