electrolysis

I am thinking about pubic hair again.

I checked the date on the last entry about it, and it’s been almost exactly a year. There’s something about August, man…

It’s because I went to a party a couple weeks ago for my friend’s birthday, and she was like, “It’s all women here, so we can talk about girl stuff!” And then when everyone fell silent, trying to think about what girl stuff might entail (fighting for equal wages? Comparing graduate degrees? Discussing our dominance of the internet? Shoes?), she proclaimed exuberantly, “Like our vaginas!”

And everyone was like, “Oh, OK. Our vaginas!”

And then we actually did. Well, we talked about electrolysis. Because that is what comes to mind, I guess, when one thinks of a vagina these days (the part was before the whole Akin thing).

I didn’t know, because I am always behind the times. Which is why Netflix is so good. I watched Veronica Mars for the first time last year, and it was AMAZING.

(but what’s going on with her pubic hair?? source)

I mean, I did sort of know. Because I had a friend who got her upper lip done. And then I had a friend who pulled me aside in the park and pulled her shorts down a little and was like, “No, seriously, it’s amazing. I’d be a beast otherwise.”

I have friends who are in a state of constant lowgrade humiliation over the refusal of certain hairs to bow to cultural norms and take a damn hint from the shiny limbs of models in ads everywhere.

 

I know how important it feels for women to have less body hair. For women to not have any body hair. This is a thing in our culture. I understand that it is supposed to be embarrassing if your arms are hairy. That it is supposed to be mortifying if there are tiny hairs above your upper lip. That you should feel ashamed if a few hairs poke out from around your bikini bottom, or if you miss a patch on your leg. I know that I should care about the fact that my knees are impossible to shave, so they always have hairs sticking out of them. I should probably die a little inside over the fact that my knees are able to sprout hair in the first place. Mutant knees. After all, I already know how damaging toe hair is.

My arms are very hairy. A gift from my dad, who is a generous man. At least I didn’t get his diabetes.

I have hair on the backs of my thighs, and I think some of it is curling. But I can’t really see it, so I don’t shave it, and then sometimes I remember that other people can see it, and then I am embarrassed for a moment before continuing obliviously on through my day, flashing my hair at unsuspecting passersby and letting my freak flag fly.

I have some hair above my upper lip (my brother once said “you have a little mustache!” and I thought for a moment that my life was probably over).

Yeah, I shave my armpits. And yeah, then it’s always bumpy and there are always like five weirdly long hairs that I somehow have continued to miss for, what? A year? The pits of my arms will probably never be my sexiest feature. 

In general, I am a beast. But for the longest time, no one was getting electrolysis anyway. So I think I’ve managed to blend in, for the most part.

And now I know better, but I haven’t signed up.

It turned out that about half of the women at the party were getting electrolysis. First their vaginas, then, for some, the rest. But definitely with the vagina first. 

Vaginas first! It sounds like it should be some sort of motto.

“Wait,” I said, stupidly, “Why?”

“Groupon!” said two of them at exactly the same time.

Oh, Groupon. Of course! Of course. I used to get those daily deals that were like “Liposuction and a face lift! 70% off today! Get yours now! At the same time! No fuss no muss (except for the stomach tubes that you have to drain)! Be ready for summer!” Or something. And I’d be like, “Are you kidding me right now?” I actually thought it was a joke at first.

It is not a joke.

“So, like, how much?” the ones not getting it wanted to know. Not the money—the hair. How much hair off?

“All of it!”

“I’m leaving just enough to prove I went through puberty.”

“Just the sides.”

There was diversity.

“But what if you want it, you know, later?” said one woman laughingly.

“For what?!” cried the girl who’d said “all of it!” “For the next ice age?”

(source)

We burst out laughing.

“I mean,” the girl continued, flipping her sleek hair back, “Why would you have hair if you don’t have to? The only hair you need is on your head.”

“I don’t know,” said the dissident. “Maybe later you’ll want it, when you’re old?”

Which made me realize that actually, yes, I think I do want to have pubic hair when I’m old. All of it. I want to have old woman pubic hair. Is that weird? Is that totally inappropriate to write? Hi, Grandma, I know you’re reading this. I’m sorry I’m so inappropriate on the internet. I’m sorry I just said old woman pubic hair. That was awkward.

But it’s true.

And also, I continue to be ambivalent. There are some things I can’t seem to bring myself to care about, and I’m always full of relief when they cross my mind. I think I care about plenty of things already. I have even managed, on occasion, to care about whether my future children will have hearing problems because I live so close to the Manhattan Bridge.  I have managed to care about whether or not my chin will sag, and exactly when that will happen (will my chin make it to forty intact? I feel like no, but I’m totally open to surprises). I have managed to care about whether my ankles look funny from behind when I’m wearing high heels and if I’m going to die woefully ignorant because I haven’t visited enough countries and if I left my cat alone for too long and she is now emotionally traumatized in some secret cat way that I can’t detect because we were gone for a weekend and she is unusually social even though cats are supposed to be independent and care more about territory than people.

I understand. I’m not judging. It’s easier, after. Forever. We’re always shaving and waxing and fussing. It’d save time to just zap it and move on.

So it shouldn’t be surprising, I guess, that so many women I know are suddenly getting electrolysis. And I guess I’m not incredibly surprised. But it makes me realize that I am probably supposed to care about this. The way that I am supposed to care about makeup. And then I think about how alone my vagina will be. And then I remember that most of the time, there’s underwear covering it anyway, and none of my friends have to know.

Unless they read this.

In which case, they’ll know exactly what kind of old woman I will one day be.

(source)

*   *   *

So, have you done it? Are you going to?

Unroast: Today I love the way my collarbone looks sometimes, on the rare occasion that I put my shoulders back.

The bra giveaway ends in two days. And it’s a cool bra.

P.S. Can I just say— I hit publish on this post and for some reason lost half of it in the process, and it wasn’t backed up, so I’ve been trying to recreate it for you for the past hour or so and GOD that was stressful. I HATE when that happens! I need to learn to save better! Sorry. Whining. Needed to get that out of my system. But if you didn’t like it for some reason, or if it’s missing some obvious point I should’ve made, blame my computer.

53 Comments »

Kate on August 29th 2012 in beauty, being different, body

53 Responses to “electrolysis”

  1. lik_11 responded on 29 Aug 2012 at 1:11 pm #

    Dare I remind you that pubic hair was discussed shortly before your trip to St. Thomas? :)

    I’m a waxer… maybe someday I will move on to electrolysis, but for now- I’ll stick with what I know. A woman I know got pretty severe burns during electrolysis- kinda freaks me out.

    Although I don’t know for sure, I think your hair thins out pretty substantially as you get older. Everywhere. So- old lady pubic hair… hmmm?

  2. Mara responded on 29 Aug 2012 at 1:13 pm #

    If I ever have the money, when I’m older I’m definitely getting my legs zapped. Seriously, it’s such a pain to shave them and the hair grows back in like half a day. I’m not exaggerating.
    I don’t really care about everything else that much– but the LEGS. UGH.

  3. Melanie responded on 29 Aug 2012 at 1:17 pm #

    I went through electrolysis on my lip and chin, and it didn’t work for me at all. I then had laser treatments and it worked wonders. I’m not hair free, but it is so much better than it used to be. I wax my brows and my ladyparts, and just shave my pits and legs. I think hair removal is all a very personal choice. You need to do whatever makes you feel pretty, sexy, and happy. If I could afford it I’d definitely laser my armpits, legs, and vagina. It’s just not in the budget right now. I really like smooth skin.

  4. San D responded on 29 Aug 2012 at 1:20 pm #

    Times certainly have changed. When I was younger our conversations were geared more around what was happening around us. The era was just as political charged as it is now, so our concerns were not vaginas but war/poverty/economic issues. It was the 70′s afterall. I am sure there were vagina conversations happening along with bra burning, and the demand for equality on many levels. I just worry that things are changing for your generation so rapidly that you will wake up one day, an old lady with vagina hair, and not have medical coverage, social security or a pension. I once met Richard Nixon at the Short Hills Mall. He was touring with his daughter who had written a book. I went up to him and said “thank you for waking me up” And went on to explain that I hadn’t thought about our government much, but through the events that swirled around him, I realized that there was much to learn, and much more not to take for granted.

  5. Sarah S responded on 29 Aug 2012 at 1:22 pm #

    Oh, Kate, I love this post! When I was five I was teased for having “hairy arms like a man.” I started shaving my legs at ten, and despite having spent five years at Oberlin, only went one winter as a “beast.” After a divorce in my early thirties I became more self conscious and started removing the hair on my arms. At the prompting of a younger boyfriend I even got a brazilian a few times. (Douche. I have never had so many infected ingrowns in my life as the year I maintained THAT.)

    I can finally say IDGAF anymore. My arms are hairy. I shave my legs and armpits when I feel the need. I keep a modest bikini line, but that’s where I draw the line. With a razor, I might add. Electrolysis? I’d rather spend the money on a feast with friends, a class of some sort, a trip to see my boyfriend (not the younger DB, of course — a lovely man who wouldn’t care if I had hair sprouting out of my back — at least I don’t think so — maybe I should ask?)…

    Here’s to the prospect of of old woman pubic hair! :)

  6. Newlyweds on a Budget responded on 29 Aug 2012 at 1:26 pm #

    I can’t imagine doing anything permanent to my body, which is why I don’t have tattoos and why I won’t be permanently removing my pubic hair. I do get waxed though.

  7. Emily G responded on 29 Aug 2012 at 1:31 pm #

    I am a shaver. But only when I’m sexually active and for the past month or so, I haven’t been! So I let it grow. And I like when it grows. It makes me feel cool. Like, “yeah I’m hairy down there because I DONT NEED A MAN!” And it makes it even more satisfying when it all gets shaved off and I’m like “Ok, I need a man”

    Its fun to go through these phases and I wouldn’t want to swear off either.

  8. meg responded on 29 Aug 2012 at 1:33 pm #

    I wax my ladyparts (I actually do it myself – it’s SO damn expensive at salons). I tried my armpits once but that was one of the worst ideas ever – it is painful there!! I think if I got laser or electrolysis I would get my legs and armpits done. Leg hair is really annoying. I am also nervous to do anything too permanent though!

  9. Krystina responded on 29 Aug 2012 at 1:34 pm #

    I’ll stick my razor thank you. :) I shave my arm pits when I’m going to wear a sleevless shirt…I really don’t care otherwise. I don’t shave my legs unless someone is going to see them. I do make sure I’m shaven for the gyno! LOL!! My armpits are sensitive and like to get red bumps when I do shave so I just go without. I changed my attitude on hair while sitting in the cancer ward waiting on treatments. I know there are far worse things in life then stuble. I don’t have the time or patience for someone who judges me on how often I shave. Great post! You made me laugh out loud. :)

  10. Krystina responded on 29 Aug 2012 at 1:37 pm #

    Oh! I can tell you from babysitting my elderly grandmother that pubic hair does seem to vanish when you get old….well it did with her anyway…

  11. Jenn responded on 29 Aug 2012 at 1:39 pm #

    I know I’m totally missing the real point of this post, but as a life-long cat owner and dog enthusiast I can tell you readily that the supposed personality profiles for both are seriously misleading. My “territorial” and “independent” cats follow me from room to room and sleep with me every night; my dad’s adorable but shy Shetland Sheepdog is extremely suspicious of everyone he has not identified as part of his pack (which consists pretty much of just me and my dad). Your kitty just missed you, just like you’d be happy to see Bear after a business trip. :) Cats and dogs are just like people – each one has a completely unique personality, and every one has the capacity for great love that translates into great affection!

    But no matter what you do, their fur gets all over everything. See, I knew I could tie it into the actual topic somehow!

  12. Mindy responded on 29 Aug 2012 at 1:55 pm #

    I love Veronica Mars! (Yes, this is the first comment that doesn’t have anything to do with pubic hair… oh wait, now it does.)

  13. Another Melanie responded on 29 Aug 2012 at 2:06 pm #

    Oh, man, I was afraid I was the only one who thought of it that way!

    It would most definitely be convenient. But it’s permanent. And a different kind of permanent than a tattoo (of which I have one). If I’m ever so sick of my tattoo that I can’t stand it anymore, I can pay the big bucks and have it removed. But if I permanently remove my hair, from any part of my body, it’s gone. FOREVER. There’s no laser re-hairing procedure.

    Do I really anticipate missing it? I certainly wouldn’t miss the annoying upkeep (shaver here, and the coarse, dark hair along my bikini line is just a MAGNET for ingrown hairs, so yes, super annoying). But what if one day I decide I want to be au naturel again? TOUGH. There’s no going back.

    My sister had it done (I’m unsure of the, uh, exact locations or extent) and I am slightly jealous. But I don’t think I could ever do it, because what if?

  14. Robert Timms responded on 29 Aug 2012 at 2:13 pm #

    Ok,one question: Should men have pubic hair? Answers require measurements in mm’s please.

    Thanks

  15. Also Kate responded on 29 Aug 2012 at 2:19 pm #

    I guess if I think about it, the idea of my crotch being hairless forever (sorry, too many friends who are sex educators to think about my actual *vagina* sprouting hair, but I’m certainly used to hearing the term used in the general sense) kind of freaks me out. The amount of hair there affects sensation in your labia (less hair usually = more sensitive), and I like having the choice of hair/no hair. Even though I don’t ever currently choose ‘no hair’ because shaving always leaves a rash and I’m already quite sensitive to touch. If I think about it, I still want to have that choice.

    Mostly, though, I don’t think about it. When I read your description of your ambivalence I said “yes!” out loud, because this is exactly how I feel: “There are some things I can’t seem to bring myself to care about, and I’m always full of relief when they cross my mind. ”

    For me, those things are: shaving, having polished finger/toenails, whether or not my eyebrows are shaped well, wearing eye shadow, and probably several other things I can’t think of at the moment but about which I will be very relieved to someday rediscover I don’t care.

  16. margosita responded on 29 Aug 2012 at 2:28 pm #

    I would do my legs, I think. I don’t mind hair anywhere else, but I have dark thick hair and my legs stop being smooth about six hours after I shave, so it would be AMAZING to just have clean, smooth legs all the time.

    But I barely manage my pubic hair, as is, so I’ll leave that. I’d feel pretty weird being hairless “down there” I think.

  17. Kate responded on 29 Aug 2012 at 3:24 pm #

    @lik_11
    Lol! You’re paying attention!
    But I stand by what I said, because that was just a mention, and this was more of a- thing? At least, I think it was.
    Also, I like that you assume I went to St. Thomas. I actually didn’t. It was St. Croix. Have you been to St. Thomas?

  18. Kate responded on 29 Aug 2012 at 3:25 pm #

    @Also Kate
    Yes, eyebrows! I forgot them. And nails, too. You’re reminding me of all this stuff I don’t care about :-) Yay!

  19. Kate responded on 29 Aug 2012 at 3:26 pm #

    @Robert
    Why wouldn’t they? I think I’d be pretty surprised if they didn’t.

  20. Kate responded on 29 Aug 2012 at 3:26 pm #

    @Mindy
    I feel like no one even knows who she is! So this makes me happy.

  21. Kate responded on 29 Aug 2012 at 3:28 pm #

    @Krystina
    I guess I didn’t even think about pubic hair going away naturally. Interesting. Damn it! I was gonna be such a hairy grandma!
    And thank you so much for letting me know you laughed— that always makes my day :-)

  22. Caitlin responded on 29 Aug 2012 at 4:30 pm #

    Kate – You should try Tend Skin for the bumpyness after shaving… it works great for me!

  23. Megan responded on 29 Aug 2012 at 4:36 pm #

    I absolutely detest shaving my legs. It takes way too long and has to happen way too often. The only reason I do it is because I feel bad for my husband, and I think like I have better chances of getting laid if my legs are smooth, haha.

  24. Kate responded on 29 Aug 2012 at 4:39 pm #

    @Lik_11
    OHH!!! NOW I remember the conversation about pubic hair from the bikini post. It was in the comment section, not in my post! Caitlin just reminded me above, with her advice. Thanks, Caitlin!
    Anyway, you’re totally right. I forgot!

  25. Katrina Blanchalle responded on 29 Aug 2012 at 4:45 pm #

    Hey, I love it when you post topics like this. You youngsters and your crazy ideas. I am old and I am hairy.
    I missed the hair-free era by a couple of decades. I mean yes, we all shaved our legs and arm pits like nice ladies, but this business of removing hair that is normally covered by clothing confuses me quite a lot. Is it related to the trend that young women are expected to post nude photos of themselves for the entire universe to see, and if they don’t, their “boyfriend” will? (I know it happens because I saw it on at least a hundred Lifetime movies.)
    Or is it because those godforsaken alien life forms who are depicted in magazines have no body hair? I still can’t believe that adult females of even average intelligence think that those are real people in the photos. They probably used to be human beings but after surgical and photographic enhancement there’s very little similarity to their former selves.
    Anyway, back to the hair. Unless you’re in the habit (or business) of showing your crotch to people, shouldn’t your grooming be an issue of personal preference and comfort? As you mentioned, August is a time to think about it, because it is HOT! and HUMID! and too much hair can be unpleasant. But the rest of the time, it just is. Why not just leave it alone. There are enough other things to worry about.

  26. Kate responded on 29 Aug 2012 at 4:47 pm #

    @Katrina
    HA! I love the way you introduced your comment.

  27. Rapunzel responded on 29 Aug 2012 at 5:29 pm #

    I have a friend who got it done for her underarms and now her legs–also from Groupon. I’ve never done it, mostly because I would’ve had to drive 2 1/2 hours just to get it done and when you need multiple treatments, it just wasn’t gonna happen! I bet where I live now though I could probably look into it, if I wanted to.

    Like my friend, I think I’d zap my underarms first and foremost. Then my legs. Then my stomach (thanks, dad, for the happy trail). Then my eyebrows, upper lip, and rest of my face.

    I’m pretty sure my vagina would be last in line, but ahead of the butt crack. Ha! I’m sure 75% of it is that I’ve never been exposed that way to anyone except a gyno and my husband, and I’m shy. The other 25% is that I don’t want to get it done. I like my hair. It’s comfortable when it’s there. I’ve shaved it a few times and I’ve hated it every single time. Just doesn’t feel….right. Or natural. But whatever floats your boat I guess….

  28. Lemon responded on 29 Aug 2012 at 5:50 pm #

    Please tell me you’ve seen this? Best pubic hair related anything…ever! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rcoreV10hI8 And this is Amanda F’ing Palmer talking about the inception of the song: http://www.amandapalmer.net/blog/map-of-tasmania-a-short-history/ (not sure where the photos are??). Also…I’m 42 and mine is (gasp!) going grey!! Not a grey hair on my HEAD yet, but wow… So, Old Woman Pubic Hair indeed!

  29. Sheryl responded on 29 Aug 2012 at 6:14 pm #

    If I had the money and did enough research to be sure it was safe, I’d love to have my leg (and maybe even arm) hair lasered off. I’m a skirt/dress person and I hate keeping up with shaving and waxing, although I do let the stubble show.

    As for pubic hair? I’m very hesitant to let any removal products near those regions. The only time I ever bother to get rid of that hair is when a) I want to do a special surprise for my husband or b) it’s getting long enough that it’s uncomfortable/sweaty/tangling or getting in the way of comfortably changing a tampon. It’s not like anyone but myself or my husband ever sees it, so we’re the only people whose opinions matter.

  30. Pip responded on 29 Aug 2012 at 6:27 pm #

    This is a topic which I end up talking to my friends about on a surprisingly regular basis!

    I was once told by a group of male friends (I think we were about 19 at the time) that the only preference that they have when it comes to female hair is “short enough so it doesn’t get caught in your teeth… but then there’s always tweezers for that”.

    I am of the opinion that you should do whats comfortable for you and damn the norm and agree with you on the old lady thing. A baldy vag on an old lady would just look obscene!

  31. Mary responded on 29 Aug 2012 at 6:59 pm #

    I must say how glad I am that you don’t care! I’m glad that it’s not important enough to you to freak out over or obsess about when you’re a bit overdue for a quick shave. I’m sure no one would even think to look, especially when you’re as confident as you are!
    I do definitely try to keep on top of this stuff – I shave legs & pits regularly (somewhat less regularly in winter), and get my lady jungle waxed every month or two. This is purely because I like having it done and gone. Bare skin feels sexier to me than having hairs sprawl out from my underwear in each direction. Much, much sexier.
    I will re-quote someone’s comment from some other blog post on this subject (“would you? have you? let’s respect the bush!”) — even in a world where men’s preferences and women’s objectification were not an issue, there would still be some people who like having less body hair. I am one of those people. And it’s okay.
    As for your actual question: If I had spare money for a quasi-medical elective procedure, electrolysis would be #2 behind getting Lasik.

  32. claire responded on 29 Aug 2012 at 11:14 pm #

    My darling yes I was reading this one as well, no reason for you to feel that I would think you were inappropriate. I feel if I read it I can agree or disagree, you see that is my choice. But the old lady part doesn’t throw me because in many cases as you get very elderly.
    you have much less hair on your arms.etc/ So right now all I am seeing is my face changing and not for the better. Oh well that is what Old Age is about/ Love CRF

  33. Ceci responded on 29 Aug 2012 at 11:47 pm #

    I would never shave off all my pubic hair. I know it is part of our culture for girls to have very little hair down there but grooming is such a pain in the butt. I don’t shave whenever I don’t have to. And When I do shave, I do it just enough so that no one sees my hair. Usually I shave my pits and my legs(depends how short a skirt im wearing. I have super hairy arms, but i don’t care. But seriously, I didn’t even know there was a trend untill my ex boyfriend suggested I watch porn a couple years back. The first time I saw it, it was just creepy to me. It almost didn’t look human. Then the guys started going totally bare down there and it was a shock to see. I guess for me, I saw the real thing first so when I saw it in porn it was totally weird. I think for alot of guys it opposite, they see porn first then the real thing, and get confused.

  34. Kate responded on 29 Aug 2012 at 11:50 pm #

    @claire
    Yay! Hi Grandma! I knew you’d read this. And your face looks beautiful, as always.

  35. dustwindbun responded on 30 Aug 2012 at 12:04 am #

    I had one set of laser treatments on my legs, and the place was kind of sloppy, so now my leg hair gets patchy at certain points in the hair cycle. Don’t know if I’d go back and have that done because it hurt. so. much. (I occasionally get the legs waxed and I can barely stand that – I had to shift to lower legs only because of the pain.)

    I like my pubic hair where it is – I’ve shaved it a few times, but never enjoyed it enough to keep up with it.

    I will say about laser, though, if you are like me and have a FRICKIN’ BEARD, if you’re dark-haired and pale it can be a godsend. I used to have more beard than my boyfriend, and it was all dark and thick. I laughed sadly at older ladies complaining about their 5 chin hairs – call me when you have over 200 stiff dark facehairs. It took a crapton of laser because I had an untreated hormone imbalance and every time we killed off one hair I’d just sprout another one elsewhere, but after getting medicated and 13 rounds of laser, I no longer have a neckbeard and don’t have to shave every morning. (I still have hairs, but at least now they’re more like darker-tinted downy vellus hairs. Ok, good enough.) I picked up a Groupon (yes) for a place I know does good work, and am thinking of having my sideburns-that-go-down-past-my-jaw killed off next. I know I won’t want these bastards back later in life.

    sorry for all the tmi, but I feel like we need to make this sort of thing not a shameful secret any more.

    p.s. I’m at least 25% gray on my head, but nowhere else yet. anticipation++

  36. Patricia responded on 30 Aug 2012 at 2:37 am #

    This made me laugh tonight as I was just thinking about all the things in my life that I can’t make myself care about! I rarely shave my legs or armpits. If people ask about it ( yes people do and rarely do I know them well enough for them to have the right to ask lol) I tell them I am growing it out for cornrows and beads. I don’t really wear dresses and haven’t worn heels since my youngest sister got married 15 years ago.
    I am a hairly beast, and should shave my face everyday, but sometimes I can’t be bothered and it’s pretty noticeable. Kids will often point out that I have a mustache and beard. Their parents are usually pretty horrified, but I just explain that I have a hormone imbalance and that’s why I have them. I have developed a double chin which was my worst fear as a young woman, bit I find I don’t really care anymore.

  37. TK responded on 30 Aug 2012 at 12:08 pm #

    I don’t have a strong opinion either way on the hair issue (hate having a mustache or chin hair – do have an opinion on that!!!). However, the Veronica Mars pic made my day. I’m just finishing the last season of Veronica Mars on netflix and I love it.

  38. Kimmy Sue Ruby Lou responded on 30 Aug 2012 at 1:33 pm #

    Laughing out loud down here (in HOTlanta, Georgia)…I’d definitely get my legs done if I had the money…the rest I don’t mind shaving. And I only shave when necessary. I went 6 months this past year without shaving my legs and I loved it…my leg fur tickled on a breezy day…but, then summer arrived, and I realized I’d look weird wearing tights and boots…so, I shaved. However, I’m still “on strike” with regards to intimacy, so my crotch is a total freaking jungle…don’t care! On that note, I would NEVER permanently remove all of my pubic hair. I think a bald twat looks weird, but that’s just me. Maybe a nice landing strip? Although I think I would want a little more than that…there’s a reason we have hair in certain areas…for protection. You know, like a crumb catcher…when you’re eating crackers in bed after hot sex…seriously, who wants a cracker in their lady parts. Keep some hair if for no other reason!

  39. Maya responded on 30 Aug 2012 at 3:10 pm #

    I’d rather have control over what I do with my hair- making a decision now about what I may want to do with my body in 20 years just seems too hard to know at any point.

  40. Another Kate responded on 30 Aug 2012 at 3:49 pm #

    Hahahahahahahaha! Old woman pubic hair!!! Thanks for making me laugh. And not just laugh, but throw my head back, close my eyes and experience the glee of uncontrollable laughter. Good one!

  41. Bethany responded on 30 Aug 2012 at 4:20 pm #

    My dad wouldn’t let me shave my legs in sixth grade (all the other girls already were), so one morning, I used water and soap to make the leg hair lay down. Or that was the intent, anyway.

    I was actually told to “shave your legs because it’s nasty not to” by a man recently. I don’t shave often because my leg hair grows reeeally slow. For weeks, it’s invisble stubble. Well, he took it upon himself to touch my leg and didn’t like the stubble, I guess. A few years ago, I would have been apologetic and mortified. Not now. Instead, I was glad I had dodged the bullet of a man who really cared that much about some stubble and then who was rude enough to point it out on top of that. Sorry, I have more important things to worry about and way more awesome things to offer than my legs, bro.

    I go back and forth on the other body hair. During the winter, I’m like a yetti in turtlenecks and tights. I am just not gonna waste even five minutes shaving things that no one is going to see.

    And in the end, it’s my choice. And I kind of dig making it for myself.

  42. raquel responded on 30 Aug 2012 at 5:23 pm #

    I go back and forth on this, like a lot of other readers, it seems. Right now, I’m totally OK letting it go a little wild down there, and the boy doesn’t seem to mind, and it’s a hell of a lot less work for me. Shaving always sucks and I almost cry when I get my eyebrows waxed so HELLO — my cohoocha probably wouldn’t take too kindly to that. And I just made up that word. Too much vagina talk (is there such a thing?). Bye now!

  43. daphne responded on 30 Aug 2012 at 5:29 pm #

    As Amanda Palmer says, “Give him something he can hold onto.” I’m a fan. Maybe not of wild, wild thickets, but nicely-groomed anything (eyebrows, pubic hair, whatever) are attractive. Pits? I let them grow out in the winter (I think it’s sexy) and shave in the summer (ditto). Legs? I’ve gone back and forth. Currently I like smooth legs. But it’s nice to have the option for whatever you want to do…

  44. melissa responded on 30 Aug 2012 at 8:12 pm #

    It’s all kinda funny because no one actually cares about anyone else’s hair of any kind. I see women on public transit who have seemingly never shaved their legs – ever. Pubic hair is even weirder because it’s not like anyone will know about it.

  45. Kande responded on 30 Aug 2012 at 11:33 pm #

    (1) would do electrlysis on my face aka in a place where women typicalyy naturally have no hair. but not in the places we are supposed to have hair. yes I shave my pits, legs and a bit in between … but electrolysis just seems a bit – dramatic
    (2) “my armpits will never be sexy” is both the truest and funniest thing I have ever read! Bwaahaahaa! Why is it so weird to have armpit hair as a woman but so weird if men shave … and either way why do we care? “Wow … look at him – what great armpits he has! I need to have him!” ha!
    (3) reading through the comments … I KNEW that was your Grandma as soon as I read her comment! And may have fallen in love a little.
    (4) I would never do a clean sweep of the nether regions. I don’t get the appeal … I hate to judge anyone’s preference but I have two daughters and have no desire to look like them down below – I am a woman! I have breasts, I have hips, I have a butt, I have curves …. I have pubic hair!!! I am a WOMAN, not a girl! I am sexy. A sexy pubic-hair- keeping woman. A Trim the hedge, don’t mow the lawn …. woman.

  46. Gracey responded on 31 Aug 2012 at 10:22 am #

    @Kate- men can shave/trim too, for similar reasons.

    @Robert- like the girls, there’s no need to go all out, but I do like men to be slightly trimmed because it makes deep blow job action far more pleasant. The other advantage is that it’s easier to keep clean and fresh down there if it’s a bit shorter, and I have it from reliable sources that it can improve sensation too :)

    Maybe I’m sexist but I’ve gagged on pupic hair while going down on a man, but never while going down on a (hairy) woman! Something about the way it’s arranged, perhaps.

  47. Leslie responded on 31 Aug 2012 at 1:44 pm #

    I’ve had multiple boyfriends refuse to be intimate with me because I refused to shave my pubic hair. I was a teenage girl, insecure and scared of being alone. I think the focus needs to be on body issues regarding this trend because it’s definitely wrecked my self-esteem from a very young age.

  48. Kate responded on 31 Aug 2012 at 2:01 pm #

    @Leslie
    This upsets me SO much. It’s happened to a few friends of mine, too, and it SHOCKS me. Something is wrong with a world that gives boys the message that girls are gross when they have pubic hair. I had a boyfriend who made a few comments about how hairy I was, and I think that if I hadn’t been with other people before him, who told me constantly how hot my body was, his comments would’ve been really destructive. I wish it wasn’t the case that it matters so much what a boy says to a girl he’s sleeping with, but there it is. It does. And now you just have to understand how misinformed and ridiculous those guys were. Them disapproving of ANYTHING about you does not invalidate those things. It doesn’t negate anything. It just complicates things.

  49. Dane responded on 01 Sep 2012 at 8:33 pm #

    I would personally never get electrolysis. I actually don’t remove any hair, with the exception of trimming pubic hair if it gets out of control or starts to get bloody and gross after my period. I stopped shaving my legs in high school out of laziness and never looked back(At nearly 6 feet tall, I have a lot of leg to shave). Then last year I decided to stop shaving my armpits and doing my eyebrows as a feminist experiment, and also to be perceived as more queer, and I’ve found I’ve become fond of my natural body. Being hairy has become part of my self-image and if it’s not there I feel as though something is wrong or missing when I look in the mirror. I’ve received a little bit of criticism over this: one guy told me to “make an effort, come ON” and some women have asked me why I don’t feel disgusting when I let someone give me head while unshaven, or that hairy legs ruin a fancy dress. I figure if men are allowed to have hair on their bodies then women should be too,and I’m willing to blaze that trail so that shaving or not shaving can be a true choice and not something that women are expected to do as a matter of course.

    Oh and as a side-note, I’m 20 and definitely grew up in the pornified era of Brazillian waxes and hairless women, but I’m also weird feminist punk. So take that as you will.

  50. e responded on 03 Sep 2012 at 12:44 pm #

    I kept my eyebrows over the years (still not entirely past) that everyone was making theirs very tiny and light, and I will hold out also with the rest of my body hair. I think the tide is beginning to turn already with arm hair, actually.

  51. Tanner responded on 05 Sep 2012 at 5:38 pm #

    This is so funny because my friend and I were having this EXACT conversation the other day over some vodka and cranberry (that’s probably why it cam up;)) She was telling me about a deal on Groupon as well. Funny. I don’t think I want to go that far, but I do think what’s the point of having all that when you can just get rid of it. Apparently it’s on sale for like $100…

  52. Annie responded on 16 Sep 2012 at 1:55 pm #

    I shave when I feel like it but mostly I grow out my body hair because ai like it like that and because hair removal is a pain. I have weird boob hairs though and if I could afford it I might coincided getting those done.

  53. Link Love (23/09/2012) « Becky's Kaleidoscope responded on 23 Sep 2012 at 11:49 am #

    [...] “And also, I continue to be ambivalent. There are some things I can’t seem to bring myself to care about, and I’m always full of relief when they cross my mind. I think I care about plenty of things already.” electrolysis – Eat the Damn Cake [...]