whipping out a boob

After I pushed an entire baby out of my poor, shocked vagina, I lay around feeling starving and relieved and stunned and abruptly motherly with Eden on my chest. She was attempting to wrench my nipple off with her tiny, adorable mouth.

I had this silly idea that breastfeeding was going to be really easy. It was the birth part that freaked me out. But the feeding part—here’s a boob, here’s a baby, so we’re basically already done.

breastfeeding_medical_diagram_posters-r6090ac4d46014d34bf5c78731ac89ed9_a2rrs_8byvr_512

(see? look at that stuff in the breast! it’s really simple! those are the pink milk trees and you just hook them up to the baby’s mouth and WHOOSH, there you go. source)

“Good!” said the various helpful people who were there to make sure things went correctly. “She’s latching on!”

Eden never had a problem getting milk, so everyone said, “You should be thankful. Some babies have a problem getting enough milk.”

I tried diligently to be thankful for that. I was sitting there crying because it hurt so much, those first few weeks, and my nipples were bleeding, and my mother the La Leche League leader had switched from rapid-fire instructions and constant hands-on intervention to the mantra “it will get better. You’re doing fine.” Which was really the only thing that helped after a while.

“I WILL give this baby a bottle,” I threatened to Bear. “I swear! I will do it! One more week and I am giving this kid formula!”

I made sure my mom was out of earshot.

Why, I wondered, were my baby and I bad at the most basic thing in the world? The basis of survival. Was she not meant to survive? Was I not meant to be a mother? Yes, of course, I got too existential too soon.

 

“What would happen to you in the wild, baby?” I asked her accusingly. The wild, by the way, is a place where there are still wolves and also Neanderthal women expertly breastfeeding, I think. It is really far away from suburban NJ, where I grew up, and possibly even farther from Brooklyn.

RB13003-0_Wild_Jungle_1_large

(source)

I never had a shirt on in those days. (The early breastfeeding days, not my childhood. Although maybe also my childhood.) It was hard enough to coordinate my nipples without one. I always had to be in the same position for every feeding. The idea that women could go out into the world and sit in random places like on park benches and in restaurants and just casually breastfeed was ridiculous to me. The idea that women could sit around casually breastfeeding while talking and maybe even eating was insane. Those women were like Olympic athletes. They were like tenured professors. They were amazingly skilled.

Before I had Eden, I used to get really annoyed by the whole breastfeeding campaign thing. You know, the enthusiastic pamphlets that exclaim, “Breast is best!!” And the chapter of whichever book about dealing with a baby that mentions bottles and quickly reiterates, “Of course, it is highly recommended that you breastfeed. By doctors and scientists and your neighbor and God. They all agree. The WHO recommends it for up to two years, for the best results! For the breast is best results!”

I heard my LLL mother on the phone all the time when I was a kid, highly recommending it. Coaching women about their nipples and their let down and their baby’s flange.

Alright, already, I grumbled to myself. We get it. Breastfeeding. It’s great. OK. It fights disease, it instills superpowers, it cures cancer, it makes you a better person because of all the better person hormones you release while you’re doing it. Whatever.

But I understand now, why breastfeeding requires a campaign like that. Because at first, when your little vampire baby is trying to suck your boobs to death and you are actually bleeding, and you are also still bleeding from your poor, shocked uterus, and you need three people to help you sit up in bed, and you can’t remember the last time you wore a shirt or what it felt like to have ankles, you need to believe in SOMETHING in order to keep trying.

I understand.

renesmee-cullen1

(a vampire baby! I might watch the movie eventually just for her…source)

Breastfeeding got easier about three weeks in, though it wasn’t really reasonably good until maybe the second month. And these days, I’m a champ. I victoriously nurse my baby at restaurants, in the park, and sometimes standing up.

My milk erupts like a triumphant fountain, baptizing Eden’s upturned face, the floor, my breakfast.

Actually, that part doesn’t feel so victorious. I live in fear of spraying some guy sitting next to me on a park bench or something.

But I am not afraid of people seeing my breasts. That is one thing I’m not afraid of.

And I know that maybe I’m supposed to be.

I know because other women are always apologizing. “I’m sorry, do you mind if I feed him? Is everyone here okay with me breastfeeding my baby right now?”

I’ve said things like that sometimes. At first, I said, “So you guys are gonna see my boobs now, I hope that’s okay.” And I laughed. And I paused.

But really, I don’t care what you think.

I mean, that’s not totally true. Once a woman looked at me with disgusted eyes and a tight mouth, and I felt suddenly terrible, my face hot with hurt. I saw these guys on the steps of Borough Hall watching me nurse her once, and they were kind of nudging each other and gesturing at my exposed breast. I looked down the whole time I nursed Eden on the subway the other day, not wanting to see anyone’s reaction. I don’t want to know, I am just trying to feed my baby so she’s full and doesn’t throw her head furiously back and roar with all her baby might.

Sometimes people get embarrassed for me. I get a little embarrassed too, then. But I’m not embarrassed in a real, lasting way. Not ever embarrassed enough to deal with one of those nursing tent things—that’s too complicated.

I read about women whipping out their boobs as a lifestyle thing. Like they’re doing it because they have something to prove. Like they are trying to make everyone around them feel awkward. Around these parts people make snarky comments about Park Slope, the upscale Brooklyn hippie neighborhood, and how the mommy mafia has taken over and breastfeeding is strictly enforced and hordes of lactating women are constantly throwing their milky boobs around in coffee shops and even bars, when everyone else is just trying to have a goddamn muffin in fully clothed peace. I read something like that in a New York Times article about Park Slope recently. And I want to call bullshit, now that I’m a lactating woman.

I am not being defiant and proud and bold and political. And this is not about you, with the muffin.

Because breastfeeding is not political for me. It’s not a statement. It’s not a battle that I’m fighting in the mythic mommy wars. I don’t even have to tell myself it will cure cancer and make my baby brilliant. I just do it because Eden needs to eat and I need to feed her. It’s a basic thing. Like in the wild.

Actually, I sometimes for a moment can’t remember why people get so awkward about my breasts being out when I’m nursing my baby. It’s not really a big deal. The big deal is that I can do it now, without crippling pain and my one trustworthy position (“wear the baby like a bra!”) and my shirt off. It’s a big deal that I have most of my shirt on right now, people. My version of being considerate to you and your fellow muffin-purchasers is to keep most of my shirt on. I want you to see as little of my breasts as possible, I swear.

But maybe because it was so hard at first, and the hard part lasted so much longer than my labor that I eventually began to think that breastfeeding was actually harder than giving birth, I feel as though I’ve earned the right to pop a boob out randomly and spray a little milk. I feel as though I’ve earned the right to do it anywhere.  Many times anywhere, since Eden, my very fat, mostly angry baby, requires a lot of milk.

Bodies serve so many purposes, it’s nice to see my breasts in action in a way that doesn’t involve anything about the way they look. I don’t know if I can really go this far, but maybe I just will: I think it’s probably good for the soul.

The soul, I suspect, likes to see a lot of boobs.

Or, you know, just the top, and a bit of nipple.

multitasking

*  *  *

Unroast: Today I love the way I feel when I’m walking quickly through the park. Purposeful, but not particularly going anywhere, the wind in my scarf.

Glasses giveaway update: Thanks for participating, everyone! The winner is #82 Amy Evans!! Looks like you’ll be getting to add to your distinctive style after all :-) Please write to me and I’ll hook you up with your prize. YAY!

47 Comments »

Kate on October 23rd 2013 in body, motherhood

47 Responses to “whipping out a boob”

  1. teegan responded on 23 Oct 2013 at 12:17 pm #

    yay!

    and yes.

    Early on in my breastfeeding days, my sister-in-law said, “I could never do that,” meaning just whip out a boob (which, by the way, is a phrase I love) and breastfeed (she hasn’t had kids yet). We talked a little (her husband, my husband, she, and I), and the talk was centered around modesty, whether she was more modest than I am.

    But the thing is, it’s not about modesty. I AM modest. I’m pretty darn conservative when it comes to clothing because I’ve been The Fat Girl, and while I’m not now, I learned to dress that way. So, no, I don’t really rock a bikini (unless pregnant), and I always wear a looser top with tighter pants or vice versa, etc.

    However, when it comes to feeding my kid, who is hungry a lot, I don’t want to fiddle with covers and 15 layers of clothing and lifting up my shirt (to show off postpartum pudge? no thanks). No one will see any more of my breast tissue than they will of the average bartender, and most people won’t see that much (unless Thomas pops off to look around, but I’m pretty ninja at covering up in those situations these days).

    I’ve breastfed in bars and libraries and restaurants and parks, at breweries and on planes and in airports and in churches and pretty much everywhere else I’ve been this past year. Not to Make a Statement or to offend or to bring attention to my body, but to feed my kid (or, in all honesty, to get him to stop making noise in a quiet-ish public place).

    Now it’s getting to the time where I’ll get looks not for breastfeeding but for breastfeeding a toddler (13 months Friday!). He doesn’t nurse often during the day, but I am a bit apprehensive about it…

  2. Tasha responded on 23 Oct 2013 at 12:26 pm #

    I don’t know how to make this not sound skeevy, but that photo is totally sexy. I’ve thought about how I might react or feel when breastfeeding in public (when I have kids someday), but I have no idea really. I have a very small bust and I’m interested in seeing how it might change with holding milk :) .

  3. amanda responded on 23 Oct 2013 at 12:50 pm #

    maybe it would make you more comfortable to throw a scarf or blanket over your shoulder/ baby when you feed in public? lots of my friends with kids do this. ( i dont have kids yet, and plan to breast feed when i do.)
    it seems like most people dont have a problem with women breast feeding in public, it just makes us uncomfortable to actually see your boobs.

  4. Jess responded on 23 Oct 2013 at 1:04 pm #

    The soul DOES like to see boobs :)

    And @tasha, agreed, its pretty hot. And its the fact that you’re owning it that makes it hot. Glad feeding has gotten easier!

  5. Corina responded on 23 Oct 2013 at 1:19 pm #

    I am in mom-awe that you were able to tough it out until you’re a pro.
    I could never make it past the vampire-baby stage. Excruciating pain + knowledge that the baby was drinking my blood? Nope. Couldn’t do it.

    I never lasted long enough for modesty to be an issue, but I’m a firm believer that babies deserve to be fed when they are hungry, and any adult in the area not mature enough to deal with that should go live in a cabin in the woods.

    I would much rather see a baby fed in the middle of a gathering than changed.
    (I once witnessed a mom change a poopy diaper on a diner table. Gross.)

  6. San D responded on 23 Oct 2013 at 1:19 pm #

    Time for truth: I am fine with breastfeeding until……the child has teeth, and asks for it to go with their peanut butter sandwich….then I get uncomfortable.

  7. Kimmy Sue Ruby Lou responded on 23 Oct 2013 at 1:37 pm #

    She doesn’t look so angry…maybe she wants that apple though?!

  8. Raia responded on 23 Oct 2013 at 1:41 pm #

    Rock on mama! I totally agree with you! After a rough couple of weeks, I got the hang of it too. And breastfeeding in public was never about me making a statement, it was about feeding my baby. I was and still am quite modest and did, on occasion, use a nursing cover. But not all the time. My boobs did a wonderful job of feeding my daughter, she was a fat, rolly, polly baby and I am proud of my body for making her all that milk.

    I breastfed my daughter until she was 2.5, the older she got the less often in public, not because I was embarrassed, but because she stopped needing to eat so frequently and was eating other foods. Thankfully, I was never asked to cover up or leave an area. If someone is uncomfortable with me feeding & comforting my child by breastfeeding, they are more then welcome to look the other way or leave.

  9. Arwen responded on 23 Oct 2013 at 1:42 pm #

    YES! No woman should feel embarrassed breast feeding her child in public. If people don’t want to see your boobs they don’t have to watch!

  10. Marie responded on 23 Oct 2013 at 3:32 pm #

    I think it is like so many parenting things, once you have a kid, you get significantly less judgy. I guess my comments go for whipping a boob out, changing diapers in weird places, screaming kids, etc etc. If I see a mother or father doing things with their kid I wouldn’t do, or if they have a kid screaming somewhere, I don’t judge, because if there is one thing that having a child has taught me it is that there is no room for public judgment when you are trying to raise a small child. So I don’t get too upset when I see people who obviously aren’t parents giving me the side eye with my kid. I get very angry if I see another parent judging me. Really? You are going to convince me you have never had trouble with your kid in public?

    My favorite judgy story- I’m on the plane with my husband and our son when he was about two. The other side of the aisle has another couple with their son, who looked to be closer to four. About 45 minutes before landing, my son gets pissed off about sitting and throws a fit that lasts about 5 minutes before we get things under control again. The entire time, these parents are glaring at us and whispering and smugly looking at each other with their kid contented with a DVD player. Until their son screamed the entire last 15 minutes of the flight and continued to scream until everyone was off the plane. I still am not a bigger person to not take some pleasure in the payback.

  11. skye responded on 23 Oct 2013 at 3:38 pm #

    I love that picture. You look like a confident, sexy mom. Your hair looks really pretty!

  12. Leeanne responded on 23 Oct 2013 at 7:16 pm #

    You are a goddess !!

    I have fabulous breasts!!! – given to me for the sole purpose of feeding my child/children except when it came time to do it – neither my newborn nor I had any idea how hard/painful it would be!

    I persevered – I hung in there, l cracked, I bled, I blistered and boy oh boy did I cry, my very supportive handsome man cried with me, i was advised over and over to give her a bottle but I just couldn’t understand why with these amazing bosoms i couldn’t feed my child.
    I did three lactation clinics, I had every nurse/doctor/friend/stranger helping – and then my baby girl got a little bigger and actually opened her mouth wide enough and we actually “got it”, but it took almost 14 weeks of hell to get it….

    I was one of these women that had the same position, same location, same pillow, same everything – feeding while I was out put fear through me – how do these “other” women do it?? Even feeding at my mum and dads house raised my anxiety levels :-(

    We got better at it, I got better at it and my beautiful daughter got better at it and we LOVED LOVED LOVED the connection it gave us, and yes after a while I could feed outside of my house, in the park and even without my trusty pillow!

    It is a learned thing, sure a natural and beautifully amazing thing but still a learned technique!!

    Love reading your blog :-)

    Cheers

    Leeanne

  13. Ragen Chastain responded on 23 Oct 2013 at 9:10 pm #

    I absolutely love the way that you write! Not being a mom I’ve never had to deal with this but it makes me really happy that you’ve navigated a path that works for you and I will do a victorious booty shaking breast feeding dance on your behalf!

    ~Ragen

  14. Rapunzel responded on 23 Oct 2013 at 10:26 pm #

    You’re still so awesome.

    Oh, and your wall paper still is too.

    Not to compare you to wall paper or anything….

    Anyway, the painful breastfeeding thing was definitely one new thing that I learned about having babies from you. I don’t plan on having babies of my own, but it’s good to know I guess. Like how women tend to push so hard that they go poo on the table. I learned THAT little tidbit from Scrubs!

  15. T.K. responded on 24 Oct 2013 at 2:56 am #

    Eden has a “wtf do you think you’re doing? are you trying to eat while on duty? who said you get a lunch break?!?” expression in her eyes.

  16. Kim responded on 24 Oct 2013 at 10:51 am #

    Yes. Just yes. To everything you said. Total and complete agreement. Same experience.

  17. Sonja responded on 24 Oct 2013 at 11:06 am #

    “It’s not about you, with the muffin.”
    YES. 100 times yes.
    I’m glad nursing has gotten easier for you.

  18. Tia responded on 24 Oct 2013 at 12:25 pm #

    if I could write my experience it would be called ” Not Whipping Out a Boob” Being an exclusively pumping/ formula supplementing mom. it’s kind of a relief to read about someone who doesn’t view nursing as a “statement”. Nursing wasn’t hard for me at all, it never hurt. I enjoyed every moment. what hurt was my son being hungry, and that seemed like all the time after the first week. Lactation nurses made me feel lazy and shameful because I insisted something was wrong and it wasn’t right to nurse for hours at a time. my son’s cries made me cry and stressed me out. my supply dwindled and my spirits were low. I found it I did have an issue. I made the decision to start pumping and using formula. after that first bottle, my baby smiled for the first time and slept for 2 hours straight! I was so happy But pulling out that breastmilk/ formula hybrid bottle in front of othernursing… the dirty looks are like taking a bullet to the chest. If I explained that I didn’t choose to stop nursing, I get the pity and the “poor inferior mom” tone of voice. Even nurses today lose their bedside manner when you say you bottle feed. i stopped pumping to nurse again to quiet my guilty feelings only to be met with a screaming hungry baby again. that’s how I knew I made the right decision. but sometimes I feel like it would be easier whipping out a Boob than admitting I bottle feed. Every day I get better, seeing my happy healthy baby. maybe I’ll post a pic of me bottle feeding :)

  19. Kate responded on 24 Oct 2013 at 2:22 pm #

    @Tia
    I wish people wouldn’t use a “voice” with you at all.
    And I’m glad you’re doing what works for you guys.
    And I’ve definitely noticed that no matter what you end up doing as a new mom (and probably as a new many other things, too, but this one is always political), there are people who disapprove and are weird and it can feel like whatever you’re doing is the thing everyone else thinks is totally uncool. Part of that I think is that we’re really sensitive right now and trying to figure it out and that leaves us more vulnerable than normal. Part of it is that people really are judgmental about parenting, right from the start.
    But you and I can be friends, and we can take a picture of us each feeding our babies differently, preferably while eating some cake ourselves :-)

  20. Robbin responded on 24 Oct 2013 at 3:14 pm #

    HA! For a long while I was convinced that I wrote this post and sent it to you! It is identical to my breastfeeding story!

    … All the way down to the breast milk fountains as I’m sure I could have been in the guiness book of records for farthest stream of breast milk unassisted!! I slept with beach towels wrapped around me and would wake in the middle of the night covered in milk.

    My daughter is now 18 months and still breast feeds frequently. However, about 2 months ago, I found out I was pregnant! Since then, my milk flow has slowed to a trickle… but she still nurses! No sign of stopping.

    And because of all the support I read about on all the FB groups I’m a part of, I am not afraid to tandem nurse my toddler and my newborn if it comes to that.

    Thanks for sharing your story!

    -Robbin

  21. Kande responded on 24 Oct 2013 at 7:03 pm #

    Society is weird.

    It judges women for using formula, praises women who are breastfeeding – then tells them to go do so on a toilet or hidden in their own home.

    It judges women for being out in public with a screaming baby, then judges MORE harshly when they try to attend to the baby’s needs by breastfeeding, in public.

    It judges women for pulling down a part of their top to breastfeed in public, then pretends to act scandalized by a barely-legal Miley riding a wrecking ball butt naked and licking a hammer in a pornographic way – yet freak about censorship if the video is not allowed to play at all times of the day on public TV.

    Society is weird. And judgy. And should always be ignored. Glad that you do! :)

  22. Jessie responded on 24 Oct 2013 at 9:21 pm #

    I’m a La Leche League baby too. My childhood was spent hearing mum rave about how amazing breastfeeding is on the phone and to me, so I can very much can relate to this. Part of me’s like “well this is all I’ve ever heard – surely there’s another side?” Also I work with babies and feed them formula all the time and they’ve never dropped dead. But at the same time I know it is the best thing for the baby, and I will do it. However if it gets tough like you… I’m not sure if I’d be able to stick it out. I guess time will tell. Awesome post, as usual!

    “The idea that women could sit around casually breastfeeding while talking and maybe even eating was insane. Those women were like Olympic athletes. They were like tenured professors. They were amazingly skilled.” <– I made this attractive snort of laughter when I read this.

  23. Neeva responded on 25 Oct 2013 at 8:04 am #

    I will leave this post ‘accidentally’ open for my boyfriend to read. It took three month till my cracked nipples healed and I’m still not free of pain.
    I have to see my son to latch on properly or risk serious pain. I won’t bother with a scarf, shawl or burp cloth that doesn’t stay put either way.

  24. Jane responded on 25 Oct 2013 at 10:14 am #

    I’ve seen more boob on any red carpet. For less reason. Go moms.

  25. Kate responded on 25 Oct 2013 at 10:32 am #

    @Jane
    Good point

  26. Kate responded on 25 Oct 2013 at 10:33 am #

    To the commenters who thought the photo was sexy:

    There was an even sexier shot that I didn’t post because I was like “does this look like I’m trying to be sexy??”

    :-)

  27. Vicky responded on 25 Oct 2013 at 12:28 pm #

    Oh I love this! Get the boobs out anytime, I say :) You look and read so amazing these days. Makes me want to go out and get up the duff with the next willing bloke :)

  28. Heathy Party Girl - Thankful Thursday: Boobs are great responded on 25 Oct 2013 at 3:56 pm #

    [...] This amazing woman talks openly and beautifully about how hard it was for her to breastfeed and how she feels about it now. It reminded me how grateful I am that my mother breastfed me with all the difficulties, and for the society that we live in that is slowly becoming more accepting to this natural and basically essential task. She also makes me feel very grateful for the phrase whipping out a boob, because boobs. [...]

  29. Raemul responded on 25 Oct 2013 at 10:25 pm #

    Have you seen this spoken poem about breastfeeding by Holly McNish? Its called ‘Embarrassed’. She has written spoken word poems about all sorts of motherhood things, but this is my favourite.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KiS8q_fifa0

  30. Nik responded on 26 Oct 2013 at 10:30 am #

    Yes, 1000 times. There shouldn’t even be a discussion about it. Breastfeed away!

    Honestly, I did not need much convincing. I look upon people who complain about public breastfeeding with a mixture of wonder and disgust. Like, what is wrong with these people? They have lost their way; they have forgotten where they came from or what it means to be human. They’d rather read Cosmo than watch a woman breastfeed, then go and look at people getting blown up on TV. It’s depraved. Sorry to be harsh but complainers need a good kick in the behind! Let’s learn to be human again, and let’s start with kids.

  31. Amy responded on 26 Oct 2013 at 12:40 pm #

    I had expected breastfeeding in public to be a “thing” and luckily for me it really has not been.
    In fact, I was recently purchasing a car and my salesperson was a woman. My boy (who is 4 months old) needed to eat and she said, “Oh go ahead!” Her office is glass. In the middle of the dealership. “I don’t care!” she insists. I say, “Other people might?”
    “Ah to hell with ‘em!” haha. A manager who was male needed to come and speak with me about my options and he high fived me and said I was “totally awesome”. So there’s that.
    Sometimes, if I have some extra, we’ll bring a bottle of expressed milk with us in public. I’ve actually gotten more sideways looks from people when we have the bottle. I feel the need to explain, “It’s ok! It’s milk, not formula!” Which is odd and weird in its own way.
    Don’t even get me started on pumping at work. That’s a whole other story.
    I am glad you persevered! Eden gets cuter every time you post. :)

  32. Tia responded on 27 Oct 2013 at 9:18 am #

    Your previous poster touch upon something I encounter almost every time I go out. breastfeeding advocates I think have made strides in making nursing in public more acceptable but with that mothers who can’t or don’t want to nurse are made to feel like bad mothers. I definitely feel like I and my friends who cannot nurse are subject to so much discrimination from other mothers. you shouldn’t have to explain why you have a bottle or what’s in it!

  33. Vicky responded on 27 Oct 2013 at 6:36 pm #

    You look like a rocking goddess of fertility in that picture! Even Eden acknowledges it, look at her!

  34. Vicky responded on 27 Oct 2013 at 6:42 pm #

    Also (and I don’t know how to make this sound less awkward, so I’ll just go ahead and ask), how does it feel to have bigger boobs? It’s awesome that they suddenly serve a (crucial) purpose, but besides that, I mean… are you proud of them? Do you feel sexy in a different way? I’m asking because like you I have naturally small boobs and as much as I like them I’ve always wondered :3

  35. Kate responded on 27 Oct 2013 at 8:30 pm #

    @Vicky
    Doesn’t sound even a little awkward. I am really liking my inflated boobs! It’s so much fun, aside from the obscene squirting… This comment just inspired a post idea. I’ll write it soon– I definitely feel sexy in a different way, and it’s cool to think about. Thanks for inspiring me!!

  36. Ronni responded on 28 Oct 2013 at 8:07 pm #

    I always admire ALL the moms who stuck with it and became breastfeeding champs. The pain was just too much for me and I gave up. try not to beat myself up about it (Aidan is a thriving 10 year old now) but I still wish I’d have had the strength to keep going even when it was really hard.

  37. Kate responded on 29 Oct 2013 at 5:34 pm #

    @Raemul
    LOVE this

  38. bethany actually responded on 01 Nov 2013 at 3:41 pm #

    It’s been so long since I read your blog (shame on me–but it’s not just YOU, it’s all blogs I’ve fallen behind on) that you went and had a whole entire baby! Congratulations! And way to go on persisting with breastfeeding and talking about it so people know how HARD it can be at first but that it usually does get easier. And it’s totally not about the chick with the muffin, I agree. It’s all about feeding the hungry baby.

  39. Lynne responded on 12 Nov 2013 at 7:44 pm #

    We’ll done ! As a lactation consultant IBCLC I love hearing stories of mums who triumph over the initial problems . And so nice to see baby’s being breast feed in public! You are all champions !

  40. Kate responded on 13 Nov 2013 at 7:50 pm #

    @bethany actually
    welcome back!!!

  41. Eat the Damn Cake » stuff people do on TV but not in life (part 2) responded on 13 Nov 2013 at 8:14 pm #

    [...] not in real life, I wanted to do another. I’ve been keeping this list on my phone as I sit around endlessly nursing and watching (mostly bad) TV.  It will be immediately clear from this list that I tend to watch [...]

  42. Amy responded on 14 Nov 2013 at 1:10 pm #

    It seems that women can’t win on this one regardless of what they choose. Breast, bottle or formula someone is criticizing you. You would think the experience of being judged would make us less judgmental but it seems that most just dig their heels into their own position and judge the others who choose differently all in an attempt to justify our decisions to ourselves.

    I formula fed. I felt judged and even felt nervous writing this even though he is almost 2 now. My son is very healthy. It was the decision that worked best for our family and I long ago stopped feeling like I had to explain why to anyone. But even now when contemplating having a second child the biggest issue weighing on my mind is breast feeding and facing the judgment all over again. That’s a shame. It’s such a special time mad not one second should be spent worrying about what others think.

    Waiting for someone on here to call me a bad mom now…

  43. Eat the Damn Cake » I am sexier as a mom responded on 22 Nov 2013 at 9:49 am #

    [...] to a reader named Vicky (from this comment section) for inspiring this [...]

  44. Jessica Philpot responded on 24 Nov 2013 at 1:39 am #

    I guess I don’t get it…no one even notices me nursing…my boob never shows and not because I cover up…I don’t and I am a G. I guess I just wear the right kind of shirts? …I just wish someone would say something to me, but no one ever does. I am so glad someone is really writing about how it really is. It is a hard road, but so worth it! I nursed my first till he was 3 and had to supplement due to low milk supply. This time, we are at four months so far and just breast milk. This one was born at home and I wonder if that chance to nurse right off made the difference this time. My first was a csection and I didn’t get to nurse until he was three days old. But I am having to pump at work, let me say that is not fun! I have to pump in meetings all covered up. I get no lunch because I am pumping. Let’s talk about that. The sacrifice to feed your kid! That is hard. I hope I can make it to six months this time. I went back to work when he was five weeks and set a goal of eight weeks. We are at four. I can make it to six months right? I am not a bad mom for giving up so soon, but really think my baby needs my mental sanity more than my milk.

  45. Janel responded on 02 Dec 2013 at 4:23 pm #

    I read your book and love it. I giggled all the way through it. I am 33 and just gave birth to baby number 3. Since this was not my first rodeo, I knew the child would be ok and my husband I would survive. But man do your emotions have a roller coaster ride for 9+ months. Your book was a beautiful snapshot of that adventure. After watching so many parents go through this journey, I truly believe that the child’s first birthday party is more about the parent’s surviving this change than the kid. The did doesn’t know what the hell to do with the cake or care how cute she is- She wants to know why everyone is going around nerotically taking photos! As a parent, surviving the first year in the new adult-world of parenthood is an accomplishment. I wish you luck on this ride and will enjoy your commentary on the awesome-sauce journey! Thanks for sharing such a momentous time with the world.

  46. diet responded on 23 Dec 2013 at 6:45 pm #

    But man do your emotions have a roller coaster ride for 9+ months. Your book was a beautiful snapshot of that adventure. After watching so many parents go through this journey, I truly believe that the child’s first birthday party is more about the parent’s surviving this change than the kid

    Jason Warner

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