I was always the “odd ball” who made friends with my teachers, who spent more time chatting with the DJ at the dance, than dancing with my peers, and who still has more fun at family gatherings playing with the kids or talking to my eldest aunt, than sitting around pretending to be a serious adult with the rest of them.

My best friend is ten years older than me. My daughter, who is 11, and my mother, who is in her 50′s, both think of me as their best friend. I’m with you all the way, Kate. I don’t believe friends and socialization only happens within the narrow view of those who share my birth year.

Although lately, I’m starting to recognize in my daughter, a need for her to find another girl going through the beginnings of puberty with whom she can share the experience. It’s one thing to hear it from the women around her who’ve survived it, it’s another to have someone to whom she can say, “Oh yeah, that’s happening to me, too.” For some things, it helps to have a near-aged friend. Not all her friends, but one or two. ^_^

And she talks to the DJs at the dances we attend. Ha!

I teach Hebrew school, and I stayed at the home of a fellow teacher over break (so that I could keep teaching even though the dorms were closed for vacation), and she’s basically twice my age— I ran into such label issues. I tried ‘host’, ‘coworker’, ‘fellow teacher’, ‘mentor’ and ‘roommate’ before I got fed up with how dumb I was being and finally started using ‘friend’…. Because we are, but for some reason I had a lot of trouble saying it.

But at the same time, I don’t like how it’s so easy to use the word ‘friend’ for someone of your own peer group, even when the word ‘classmate’ or ‘acquaintance’ or ‘fellow student’ might be more appropriate.

I wonder why we don’t all just use ‘friend’ for our friends and not for our not-friends. No matter what age they (or we) are.

It’s quite nice to have somebody operating in wholly different world from yours; I’m caught up in high school and she’s caught up in the world of being a freelance writer and being married and that sort of delightful thing.

I love having older friends.

From your pictures I don’t believe you’re a 36 – your ribcage looks waay smaller and the +4 / +5 inch rule is quite ridiculous. Your band size should be your underbust measurement in inches, measured considerably snug, and if it’s between two band sizes, just try both. (If this feels for some reason uncomfortable to you, you can of course always try a larger band size, but it should be very tight, since the band carries your breasts’ weight and not the straps). Also, there’s no such thing as “THE B cup” or “THE D cup”, since the cup size depends on the band size – a 32 B is way smaller in the cup than a 36 B. Actually, a 32 D is also smaller in the cup than a 36 B. Most women don’t know about that, though. Most women also wear the wrong bra size.
For your cup size, you have to measure your bust in inches, leaned forward or simply upright – you might try our both – and subtract the band size you chose from it. Every number coincides with a cup size:
A (=1), B (=2), C (=3), D (=4), DD (=5), E (=6), F (=7), FF (=8), G (…), GG, H, HH, J, JJ, … although the result you get now is just a guideline; something three-dimensional just can’t be fully categorized by taking two parallel measurements. You should perhaps google for signs of an ill/well fitting bra, since most salespersons aren’t very helpful in my experience. I’m not sure if I can post links here or if that’s some kind of advertisement, so I just don’t.
Don’t be scared if the bra size you get is completely unexpected. I am what people might call “a C cup”, used to wear 36C or 38C and am not all too skinny, but still I’m now wearing a 28GG and I’m perfectly happy with it. (The fact that I have to buy in online stores for “bigger busted women” now still gives me giggle fits from time to time, though.)

I hope my reply is sort of helpful for you. I’d wish to write so much more about this and also tell you how much I appreciate reading your blog since I can relate so well with almost everything you write, but I should really go to bed now. Good night, although it’s probably noon in New York right now.

People get really confused when they realize I’ve got a good friend who’s an adult and works in the department. I don’t really see why – I love having a friend who knows so much about the things I’m interested in. It’s just what you said about friends you can learn from – they’re seriously underrated! Also, she’s just an all-round epic person. Why wouldn’t I be her friend?

Down with age discrimination in friendship!

I am always awkward at introductions but once I was introducing my friend who I met through my sister, to my boyfriend. I said “This is my sister’s friend, Jessi.” She turned to me and said, ” Can you stop introducing me as Cassie’s friend? I’m your friend too.” She was right, but I always felt the need to categorize her as my sister, Cassie’s friend, even though she and I have a relationship completely seperate from the one I have with my sister. I find it strange that I have this need to categorize people.

Also, I’m curious, does it feel weirder to introduce friends that are younger than you as “friend” or significantly older, as “friend”? And we both should keep our mind open to the possibility of saying, “This is Jon,” instead of “This is my boyfriend, Jon.” Because do introductions really always require you to define your relationship with the people your introducing?